Sex on the First Date?

Lacey and Jessica talk about the pros and cons on hooking up on the first date: Is too much too soon, or just going with the flow and enjoying life?

8 Responses to “Sex on the First Date?”

  1. 1 Ka
    February 16, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    I am agree with Lacey this one. If you want to have a long-term relationship with the girl, you need to know each other more. Sometimes, waiting can make the sex more better.

  2. 2 Moe
    February 16, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    I agree with the waiting, because I have experienced the NOT waiting and it created this false connection,and closeness…. When it came to the substance of the relationship, there were awkward blanks that could not be filled in with regular conversation etc… It created a purely sexual relationship, where we both got hurt … NOT good… I def will be waiting next time, though this was not first date sex it was more of 3rd date sex.. I am in a situation where I am newly “out” and im still having a hard time seperating the hooking up with the substance of a true real girlfriend relationship… I think its so exciting to be attracted, dating, and acting upon who I really am, that I have jumped the gun so to speak…. ( im 28 and finally out) I think that waiting and getting to know her will help me next time 🙂

  3. 3 anon
    February 17, 2010 at 2:16 am

    I think 3-4 dates is somewhat efficient, but it needs to be taken on a case by case basis. Lacey…4 months? wowza, thats a long time…but I can understand why. If you are really into the girl, it is essential to get to know them first and establish the relationship as that of an intellectual one and not just physical. Once the infatuation stage is over, and the physical desire is gone then the real person comes out. It is important to get that real person out of their shell : )

    When will we see a vlog on straight girl crushes?

  4. 4 Megan
    February 17, 2010 at 3:44 am

    I agree with Lacey in that it does take some (sexless) time to really figure the girl (or yourself) out when you’re first seeing someone. But you don’t want to wait so long that the physical spark between you and the person kind of falters a little bit, even if all the emotional/intellectual stuff is there. So I think there’s a common ground between waiting a few dates and waiting a few months. It really just depends on how you feel about the girl and where you see any possible relationship going.
    But, of course, I am all for one-night stands if the benefits outweigh the risks 🙂

  5. February 17, 2010 at 6:08 am

    I continue to love the videos Lacey and Jess. I think it came through loud and clear that each person needs to figure out for themselves what feels right. Certainly I would say too, to wait, but I’m sure there are lots of long term couples out there who had sex on their first date and there is more than one person who can tell you that, even though they waited, were conscious and all of that, that the relationship didn’t last. The key is what you want in terms of sex and relationships and finding (a lifestyle) or a someone with whom you can share enough of a similarity to build a ‘third’ reality that works for the two of you! Keep up the great work!

  6. 6 Lifepoet
    February 18, 2010 at 12:59 am

    Maybe it’s a Midwest thing, I’m from IL, but I’m all for waiting, especially if I’m really into the girl. I feel that, if you’re planning on establishing something long term with someone, what’s 3 months?!? There’s nothing worse than rushing to have sex with someone and then realizing that all you have in common is surface stuff.

    I’ve made that mistake before – sort of. I made out with a girl on our first date and then she became, almost obsessed, with having sex with me. I wanted to take time to get to know her, but every time we got together she wanted to have small talk then try to do-the-do. Well, I am NOT a small talk person. If we aren’t having those deep “what makes you who you are” type of conversations once in awhile, it’s a completely turn off for me. LSS, it didn’t work.

    I don’t personally know anyone who’s had first date sex and made it in the long term, but I guess those people are out there. Those relationships kinda remind me of Area 51. You know it’s out there, but at you don’t know anyone that’s been there and brought back the key chain.

  7. February 18, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I LOVE your comments guys! I thought I was going to be the odd duck out on the “Waiter” Theme… But I guess not? 🙂 However anyone can feel real love I’m always a fan of, BUT I think waiting produces the best results consistently. Like the song says… “Love takes Time…” 🙂

    But if you’re not looking for love and you’re just looking for the “S” word it’s pretty obvious what your solution is. Devil’s Advocate wwoowwZAH! 🙂

  8. 8 Twisted Love
    May 3, 2010 at 5:48 am

    Almost very long term relationships ihad began with a hot steamy throwing each other around all-night long fuck.
    These relationships stayed every much hot and heavy for the duration…..those in which we waited…and waited….and waited. let’s just say they started, and continued to be, unsatisfying..It’s not always right, but if you are horny, why fight it….unless you’re saving yourself for marriage LOOOl

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