Past, Future, PRESENT!


You Never Know What’s Coming for You…  I didn’t plan to meet Jessica, it just happened.  

Today I’m going to talk about some tools that help me to deal with Doubt bbuuttt before I get into that I think it’s important that we start the New Year with a clean slate, don’t you?  🙂  Think of 2009 as your opportunity to make everything right in your life.  Nothing from the past is going to get in your way.  You are going to use this year to take the necessary steps towards all of your goals.


My goal setting for this year was something I had to work through with Jessica.  I was freaked out because sooo much happened last year. I looovvee to make stuff happen- EVENTS, CAMPS, TV… I like to go for it 100% all the time. 2008 was an amazing year, but this year Jessica helped me to understand that the EXPLOSIONS of success will happen… but some years of our lives need to be devoted to building structure so there’s space for more.  2009 is a structure year for me.

An example might be that we work really hard to find success in our careers. After a couple of years we make “career success” happen.  Then we find a lover and we want to have relationship success.  After a couple of years you and your partner decide to have a child.  Sooo, you make a conscious decision to pull back a little at work and redefine what success means to you. Maybe in 2009 your success is defined by being a GREAT parent?  That might not meet your bosses needs but it meets your needs as a human being and you need to recognize that your needs are always more important than anyone else’s.  Defining your Professional AND Personal goals in The New Year is key.

I heard an interesting Quote the other day that really made me stop and think… “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and right now is a gift… That is why it’s called The Present.”

If you break that quote down it’s very true.  That quote sums up almost everything I stand for.  Lets break it down together.  The past is history.  Often times I hear people stuck in what happened to them.  They let the tragedies, setbacks, and obstacles of the “past” cloud their vision in the present.  The past is HISTORY.  You need to work as hard as you can to leave the past in the past because it cannot help you in the right now.  The past only becomes your present if you bring it there.

The way your crappy ex treated you is not a reflection on how your next lover will treat you.  The way your ex boss was amazing is not a reflection on how your future boss is going to be.  Before we move forward in our lives we can’t put band-aids over our past mistakes… If we are going to keep bringing them up in our present then the past IS a vital part of your lives. You should make a goal of 2009 to tackle those issues so you can leave the past in the past where it belongs.

The Future is a MYSTERY.  You can catastrophize about what’s going to happen in the future.  You can dream a million dreams of what’s coming in the future. BUT, the truth is that the future is mystery.  That’s the beauty of life.  You never know what’s coming for you.

I was single for three years. One day I woke up and I went to work.  I knew I wanted a relationship but I didn’t know how it was going to happen, we never do. On that lovely Tuesday morning as I was rushing to the stairs I ran into a member.  She literally bumped into me.  We laughed, she said excuse me, and then we shook hands…  she said, “pleased to meet you I’m Jessica Clark, would you like to grab a cup of coffee sometime?”  You never know what’s coming for you, you never know who will cross your path… It’s a mystery.

Right now is a GIFT.  We don’t remember days we remember moments.  The only things we have control over in our lives are the choices we make in the moment.  When we wish time away for our vacations or our retirements… WE are wishing away the moments, we are wishing away our lives.  All you have to do to have an extraordinary life is to take the time to make every moment, of every second, of every minute, of every day matter.

How do you do that?  How do you get rid of the doubts of not being able to meet your life’s potential?  How do you find success?   The truth is that life is going to happen. Thinking you have control over life is an illusion.  No one has control over anything.  All you can do is your best.  You can’t force your boss to give you raise, you can’t force your lover to marry you, you can’t make someone be your friend.  There’s no control… WE must learn to let go.  The past doesn’t matter, the future doesn’t matter, and The PRESENT is what your life is.  So don’t skip over it… 

I rambled on about this quote for my entire post today 🙂 But I think it is important to go over.  Before I talk about battling the doubt we need to lay a solid foundation of trust. I want you to understand where I’m coming from.  In order to achieve greatness in our lives we must learn to let go of the past and the future.


3 Responses to “Past, Future, PRESENT!”

  1. 1 Danielle Sonnenberg
    January 12, 2009 at 3:17 am

    Thanks so much for this post. I think about this quote often.. and it’s so true.. we won’t find happiness in the past or the future, only in the present… my new year’s resolution is to surrender.

  2. January 12, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    such a great quote! i had heard it somewhere else recently, but had forgotten it ….thanks for putting it out there….its so easy to forget to be in the moment….to just be….
    thanks for sharing!

  3. 3 Neshie
    November 5, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Hi Lacey & Jessica,

    Congrats on your 4th year anniv , best wishes ! I would like to thank you both for putting this website plus your lesbian love . Guess, Im lucky to find this while busy surfin the net for blogs and self help on how to cope with the pain . I got separated from my partner of 7 years last Dec and its not easy lettin go and movin on … 😦 And your blogs is helping me a lot these days. Big thank you 🙂

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