‘Tis the season for feeling OVERWHELMED



‘Tis the season for feeling overwhelmed.  It does feel as though everything is piling up on top of me as the year begins to wrap up in a flurry of holiday parties, tickets home to be with my family, the still stuttering economy and the fact that almost everybody I know has either been directly affected by layoffs at work, or knows somebody who has.  It’s cold, I’m exhausted and to be perfectly honest, when the alarm goes off at a truly unpleasant hour in the morning I want to sink back under the covers.

I feel as though I’ve been flung headfirst into adulthood this year more than ever, and here’s the thing I notice about that; we don’t treat ourselves very well.  I am not good at asking for help and I’m not that great at admitting that I’m struggling with a packed schedule. I get more and more exhausted and much crankier. I start getting nervous about weight gain over the holiday season, about whether everything will get done in time, or get done perfectly enough, how it’s going to be with all the different family dynamics and how much it is all going to cost. 

It’s not fun and it’s not smart because who does that attitude serve?  Certainly not me 🙂

Years ago in my recovery program I was taught to try and think of myself as my own best friend; or the one that really worked for me, as my own child.  What does this mean?  It means that I would never dream of treating my child the way I think it’s acceptable to treat myself!  It’s the most effective tool I know for shooting down that negative self-talk that swirls around my head the more tired and overwhelmed I get.  “You’re such a loser, you never get anything done right, I shouldn’t think that I can do any of this.”  Is that ok to say to my child, or to my best friend? Exactly, so why allow it to be said to myself?

And if my child was exhausted and cranky and just wanted to take a nap, would I pump him/her full of coffee or Red Bull and tell them to get on with it and stop complaining?  Hell no. I would say “Take a power nap sweetie, just for 15 minutes.” There’s very little that can’t wait for 15 minutes.  It’s more important for me than ever to try to eat good, nutritious food while I’m dashing around trying to get everything done on time and not to skip meals or eat something that will just sap my energy.  Maybe stock up on a good multi-vitamin and keep some yummy seasonal tangerines and pomegranates around for a quick and easy powerful antioxidant punch.

And most of all I need to remember that whether it’s Christmas, or Hanukah, Kwanza, or the Western or Chinese New Year that’s being celebrated; it’s not about everything being PERFECT. It’s about people that we love coming together and acknowledging this year of our lives, 2008.  It doesn’t matter if the tree is tilted just a tiny bit to the right, or if the Hor D’oeuvres for the party aren’t as delectable as they perhaps could have been.  Are people smiling? Having a good time?  Then that’s what is important, not me being a stress head and flapping around them trying to make last minute adjustments to the table settings.  So this holiday season I’m going to say to myself that I did a good job(the best I could) and to relax and enjoy myself before I make myself crazy!!   🙂



5 Responses to “‘Tis the season for feeling OVERWHELMED”

  1. 1 mr pinstripes
    December 10, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    well i just tell everyone “maybe” i will go to their party but most likely i won’t. and if they don’t respect my honesty and try to make me feel bad or if they take it personally (immature) then i point out that they’re being selfish. of course I am a guy so we don’t have to deal with all the b.s. get togethers (unless our GFs want us to go with=)

    so i say say NO and MAYBE more often. it’s JUST a party,not an obligation, and it’s people you see all the time (hopefully) anyways.

    if its your party dont get mad if people flake or look bored! =p my whole family usually sits in the kitchen at parties away from everyone else haha. i guess im a weirdo, i hate small talk and once a year get togehters that arent all close people

    have a nice week

  2. December 10, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Jessica that post came just in the right time.
    Right know I’m feeling exactly like you. I’m exhausted, tired and I see that I’m not treating my body very well. I’m only waiting for the holidays and hope that I’ll manage to come down and start with new energy in a new year which is supposed to be so exciting…
    After I read your post I asked myself If I would treat my child like I’m treating myself at moment and I was shocked. NO! I’d never do that to my child…

    Thanks a lot… 🙂

  3. December 10, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    I know how you feel. I feel about the same. Overwhelmed. The weather doesn’t help either and with you living in NYC I believe the temp at one point was 2 degrees. I feel for you. Around December we see the most suicides, it’s the highest time of year for depression. I relate it to the lack of sunlight and the weather to a degree but yes the added pressures of shopping, gifts, parties — though that should be fun things. I say get all the gifts and presents/cards way early and one won’t have to worry about that. So one less stress.

    You Ms. Clark are a strong woman that handles more then most people. I know I wouldn’t be able to take fright after flight and still look gorgeous while.

    You’ve done well, never stop patting yourself on your back and giving thanks for what is going right. 🙂 MUCH love to you & Lacey. ❤ –

  4. 4 Rebecca
    December 10, 2008 at 11:15 pm


    Jess, you seriously deserve way more credit then you give yourself. Most girls your age sleep all day and party all night which I find is no life at all. You are one very strong woman & wise beyond your years. I think you need to think of you, yourself, your shadow first and learn how to say N O. If for once you didn’t really care what anyone says I bet your life will be easier.

    Your post hit home for me & I swear there is something about these winter months. I celebrate 8 days of chanuka and of course I am way too nice to say no now im stuck with hosting EIGHT yes 88888888 parties.
    I have lost a business cause of the economy if not for my husband’s support and love I would have been one sad, depressed girl. Life taught me never to give up reminding myself how far i’ve come and all the good things i do have in my life.

    You got lacy, you’re sexy as hell so give yourself a break & enjoy the moment!!!!

    (FYI ABC is doing a documentary of me & my drama lol. It is about living in extreme religious world while being rebellious.Yes one of these reality bs you girls hate. Hold on to your chair cause it will shock you then you will be soooooooo happy with your overwhelmed life.)

  5. 5 jessica clark
    December 13, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Thank you all for your support everybody 🙂 It’s true, I need to be OK with saying No sometimes and try and give myself a little more credit! Work in progress 🙂 Two parties last night, one tonight…. ’tis the season! I hope you’re all hanging in there (Kimi, Rachel 🙂 )

    And Rebecca…we’re not sure why you think we hate reality (?) except for the proposed ‘Model Maker show that I blogged about; but we TOTALLY support and are excited about your documentary and it’s purpose!! You need to keep us posted, we’re going to be glued to our TV 🙂 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s