29
Oct
08

Gay Myths Exposed

Here’s a FUN game 🙂 Out of the above 5 people how many do you think are gay and how many do you think are straight (Strictly based on appearance… The answer is below) 🙂

 

*Gay Myths Exposed 

Why is it that the popular consciousness seems to believe certain things about gay people and our relationships?  Like the way a woman can be perfectly friendly and affectionate around me, that is before she realizes that I’m gay, then the second she finds out she feels the need to tell me all about her boyfriend, or how much she loves men, like I’m going to jump her if she doesn’t make that clear.  That’s great, I’m happy for you, go men.  It’s OK; I promise I wasn’t hitting on you.  I’m with a woman I’m incredibly in love with, and honestly, even if I wasn’t, you’re not my type.

In the same way that heterosexuals don’t find themselves uncontrollably attracted to every man/woman who crosses their path, nor do the gays. I wish. It would have made being single a lot more fun 🙂

Another favorite of mine is the assumption that just because you happen to be gay, you’re automatically probably kinky as well.  This is one myth that seems to be propagated as much inside the gay community as outside of it.  Yes we’ve been together for two years; no we don’t have an open relationship.  No, not even kissing.  That seems to be surprising to a lot of people, gay and straight.  It’s one thing to be flirty and social, it’s a whole other bag to bring in a third. Believe me I’m not knocking it in the slightest; everybody is more than welcome to their kicks.  I’ll admit that it does seem to be a pit stop on the path to figuring out that we may be gay for a lot of people.  But my point is that I don’t believe any of us would assume that a straight couple went in for threesomes on the basis that they’d  (gasp) been together for two whole years.

Equally the ‘femme’ lesbian in the dress is no more or less likely to be less gay, or less assertive as the gay woman with short hair and muscles, who in turn is no more likely to know how to use power tools, or fix your car as the next person.  Gay men are not all effeminate and theatrical, and the last to be picked at sports; if you believe that you should visit my gym just once 🙂

Being gay is not a ‘lifestyle choice’.  There is more and more scientific evidence to show that it’s likely to do with the differing levels of hormones that a baby is exposed to in the womb.  Meaning we were genuinely born this way and consequently it is a part of who we are on a fundamental level, it is not what defines us and how we choose to live our lives.  If you’re heterosexual that doesn’t automatically determine how you think, or how you decorate your house. Whether you are black white, brown or purple that doesn’t mean for a second that you think and feel the same way as everybody else who has a matching skin tone right?

In the same way, us gays are as diverse and varied as anybody else; there are things that unite us; the fact that learning to accept that we romantically desire a person of the same sex and the fact that there can still be many societal obstacles to living and loving who we choose are two of the most significant.  But there are gay Republicans as well as Democrats, and there are those of us that really just want to get married and have babies together and be just as ‘traditional’ as anybody else.

So while we’re flattered that you’d quite like to experience ‘swinging’, we are not the couple to do that with 🙂   I can help you figure out how to put your furniture together though 🙂

The answer, drum roll pplleeaassee- 5 gay, 0 straight… Tricky, right? 🙂

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15 Responses to “Gay Myths Exposed”


  1. October 29, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Amen. Thanks for writing this out!

  2. 2 mr pinstripes
    October 29, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    they’re all gay

  3. 3 mr pinstripes
    October 29, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    i think one is bi though… a “breeder” as they say. i hate that term, as if a woman is any less of a lesbian if she dates the odd man… i do think there is a small percentage of lesbians who aren’t really committed to being gay.. that had traumatizing or bad experiences with men and like the safety and comfort of a woman.. the ones that dont ever go down on a girl and such. im just speaking from experiences – so no need for people to assume I am taking out of my ass. if it is acceptable for a woman to have a couple “fake” relations with men until she comes out to herself and to others, it works the other way around. there are plenty of girls who TRY to identify as gay or bi but cant seem to get to the fun stuff. the actual fucking etc. they just make out and feel girls out. i’d hate to be gay and hang out with them. boring. I’ve probably had 25 lesbian friends over the years and dated 3 (i’ve been sworn to secrecy which sort of makes my point) it’s all so irrelevant who were sucking and fucking!

  4. 4 Rebecca
    October 29, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Mr Pinstripes not only do you speak out of your ass, you are a dickhead. What do you know about Bi sexuality? Get over it! Some women do bat for both teams. Sick and tired of all the stereotypes that Bi’s are confused or closeted gays.

    Bi = Sexually attracted to men &&&&& Women!!!

    Lesbians hate us, all we need is men like you to make ignorant comments like that. You sound more like a 40 year old virgin to me. Open your mind and leave the labels on your dirty pinstriped pants! The women in your life don’t represent bisexuals as a whole.

    (UsaToday.com

    Bisexuality among women isn’t just a phase, according to new research that followed 79 non-heterosexual women for a decade and found that bisexual women continue to be attracted to both sexes over time.
    Being bisexual is a distinct orientation, not a temporary stage, says the study by Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah. It is being published next week in the January issue of Developmental Psychology, a journal of the American Psychological Association.

    Diamond conducted face-to-face interviews around New York state in 1995, when the women (who identified themselves as lesbian, bisexual or unlabeled, but not heterosexual) were ages 18-25. She then spoke with them by phone every two years.

    “These findings are therefore more consistent with the model of bisexuality as a stable identity than a transitional stage,” the study says.

    Diamond suggests that most women “possess the capacity to experience sexual desires for both sexes, under the right circumstances.” )

    p.s. Great post you look healthy and happy Jess!

  5. October 29, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    Great post! I love it and you’ve pretty much covered everything I’d have to bring up or say about myths and facts so I have nothing to add but it was awesome. Thank you! 🙂

  6. October 29, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    PS tell your friends they’re HOT! OMG.. Haha And I wouldn’t have thought any of you were gay besides the girl in the middle not smiling. LMAO

  7. October 29, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    Thanks for sticking your neck out there to clear things up and hopefully make our society more relaxed with gays.

  8. 8 Rebecca
    October 30, 2008 at 1:28 am

    (I’ll admit that it does seem to be a pit stop on the path to figuring out that we may be gay for a lot of people.)

    Not all Bisexuals are into 3-some’s. Most of us strictly do the one on one. Why do we have to generalize like that? Bi misconception is that we are cheaters, hiding or confused. We are just sexual beings attracted to a person regardless of what gender. Most are content with one partner they choose. 3 some’s are for drunk straight girls who are forced by their man to do it for the “guys” pleasure.

    I think all women are born Bi. They are just not in touch with their sexuality.

    I’ll zip it now!

  9. 9 DD
    October 30, 2008 at 1:59 am

    Great post! I particularly love when- as a woman who loves both men and women- when in a relationship with one or the other they ask (and are truly worried) whether or not “you’ll go back”- assuming that you regret the nature of who you are! Cheers to Rebecca’s comment. The need to judge and label is so prevalent and particularly rampant in these unstable times. Let’s hold our ground and be true to ourselves.

  10. 10 Anthony Esposito
    October 30, 2008 at 2:09 am

    Great post your friends are HOT! The guy in the pic is really cute. I do agree with everything you said in your post. Most gays are looking for the same things as the straight folks. Unfortunately it is still very hard for gays to live in a society where there is still a lot of homophobia. As far as bi sexuality I believe we are all bi sexual its just that some of us have a stronger attraction toward the same sex while others have a stronger attraction for the opposite sex. Holla

  11. 11 Me
    October 30, 2008 at 3:06 am

    I guessed all. Am I good or what?

  12. 12 Eneb
    October 30, 2008 at 5:03 am

    Haha. This pic has proven to me that not only am I gay but I’m a SUPER LESBIAN. I know by name every1 in that pick EXCEPT the guy…lol Small world. Ang told me all the lesbian models know each other Im starting to relaize she was right!

  13. 13 jessica clark
    October 30, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Yay Rebecca for so articulately sticking up for those of you that are bisexual. I am in complete agreement that you are unjustly dismissed by both the hetero and the homo worlds and labeled as ‘undecideds’ or as promiscuous people. Who has any right to judge and who can possibly know better than you who and why you are attracted to anybody at any time. I’m a firm believer in the Kinsey scale which I believe states that we are all somewhere on the scale of 1-7 of sexuality. Very very few individuals are categorically gay or straight, even the goldstars, just there to a greater or lesser extent. And as a gay woman, the fact that as a community we can be so dismissive and divisive over who someone is attracted to, shows that we can be as bigoted as the homophobic element in the straight world that has caused us so much pain over generations.

    And as DD states, it’s always seemed ridiculous to me that people are so concerned that a bisexual will “go back” and end up leaving them. Why does it make a difference if someone leaves you for a man or a woman? It still hurts just the same so far as I’m aware!

    And Eneb…ahahhahahahhahah SUPER LESBIAN 🙂 Yep.. all the lesbian models know each other eventually. It’s a small world and it’s a fun one 🙂 !

    Thank you for all your comments, we LOVE a good debate here at Sweat City 🙂 so keep it coming!!

  14. 14 Anonymous
    October 31, 2008 at 8:05 am

    is the girl in blue i can’t remember her name but was she in the show gimme sugar on logo

  15. 15 jessica clark
    October 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Her name is Djosefin and yes, she was. Good eye 🙂


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