The Fork in the ROAD

This picture PERFECTLY illustrates “A Moment of Time” in my life… It’s a moment where I could’ve gone one way or the other.  I knew I needed to make a conscious choice to live MY life or I’d fall into the pattern of being someone that I’m not; Someone who followed and did not lead, someone who was 30lbs over-weight, someone who didn’t really believe in herself, and most importantly someone who wasn’t happy. Have you ever hit a moment in time where you knew you had to stop making excuses and start finding solutions?

WARNGING:  Proceed with caution.  The below TRUTHS and FACTS were written by TOUGH Lacey not the soft and cozy one that’s written the previous posts.  I tried to edit it to make it a little softer but in the end I decided against it.  I’m Tired of people “editing” what it takes to have a body and life they love.  The FACTS are that it’s hard and it takes work every single day.  I’m sorry if some of the stuff is hard to hear or a little harsh but I want to touch a nerve and I want you to know that I am here for YOU.  If you have a problem with anything post something and lets talk about it, ok?  Alright, the below is rated R for maturity, Viewer discretion advised  🙂  🙂  🙂

One more disclaimer:  I’ve read TONS of books and I have lots of certifications in Fitness, so it’s suppose to be easy for me right? WWRRROOOOONNGGGG.

MY TRUTH – There’s no easy way to do it, it’s about consistent effort towards something you really want.  I was TIRED of being sad and not liking my body so I made a conscious effort every single day to turn my life around.  Turning my life around didn’t happen in a blink of an eye… But it DID Happen.  Three words that always help me; PASSION – You’ve got to want it, PERSISTENCE – You’ve got to work for it, PATIENCE – It will not happen over night.

MY TRUTH – It’s hard as SH*&$! to turn your life around, to lose weight, to take your career to the next level, to maintain a healthy relationship.  I MUST reeaalllyyy want it and have major reasons to back it up otherwise I’ll give-up. It was a hard lesson to learn but for me it’s my truth.  I’m consistently writing and re-writing lists of what it is I want. Here’s a question I like to ask myself a lot when I’m feeling overwhelmed or find myself whining in my head about how hard it is… What’s the alternative Lacey?  That’s right, you gotta keep BRINGING IT!  🙂

MY TRUTH – The journey never ends… Once the necessary changes are made, that’s when life starts to happen, that’s when I gotta keep on that track otherwise the changes don’t stick. SCARY TRUTH – There are NO QUICK FIXES, if you want to be a certain way you have to do it FOREVER. That’s life that’s what makes it beautiful and difficult at the same time. It’s a Catch 22; It’s beautiful because you can be, do, or have whatever you want AND it’s hard because no one’s going to hand it to you.  If you want it YOU have to go out there and take some risks, ggooooooo get it yourself.  One of my favorite quotes – “With GREAT Risk comes GREAT reward.”  FACT: If you’re not willing to take risks you will get stuck.

MY HARD TRUTH- Some of my closest friends and family tried to sabotage me consciously and unconsciously. WHY? Because they knew me as I used to be not as I wanted to be. Many of them did not understand or didn’t want to understand me because my changes made them question themselves.  Here’s what I did… I felt the fear and did it anyway (That’s a GREAT book by the way “Feel the Fear and do it anyway”).  Here’s what I decided; If they were my true friends they’d stick around and if they weren’t they wouldn’t… anndd frankly who needs’em anyway, right?  🙂  I found out that after time passed most of the people came back… anddd My GOD if you do become successful, you will not believe the people who will start calling – https://sweatcity.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/my-first-love/  My Motto – Keep it MOVING!

THE FACTS about THE FACTS 🙂  – I lost close friends… BUT along the way I found New Ones who’re on the same journey. This was a very difficult FACT for me to understand… But once I let my old friends go, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.  I was free to find new friends and I was free to be whoever I wanted to be without someone saying  “You’re so different.”

My TRUTH – My new style of life did not fit into my old patterns of living. I had to give up some of my safety blankets. What do I mean?  If you’re trying to lose weight and you like to go out drinking on the weekends that may or may not work.  If you can’t find a way to go out without drinking in the beginning stages of a weight-loss program you WILL NOT lose the weight and you will not be or feel successful.  Alcohol created a huge problem for me when I wanted to change my body, be serious in my career, and find a woman that was more than a one night stand or an adventurous couple of months. Sooooo, I stopped drinking… I found that changed everything for me… My focus, my drive, my life.  MY ADVICE:  When beginning a weight loss journey you should consider staying in on Friday and Saturday nights. Being disciplined and making sacrifices are two things you need to learn if you want to make BIG! life changes.

MY TRUTH – I needed to spend time alone.  In order to be strong in my Self. I needed to know and understand “who am I?”, “what do I stand for?”  Running away from me was never going to make me feel in control of my Self and my life.

MY TRUTH – I needed to ask myself the HARD questions – What’s important to me, what do I want out of life, why do I want these things? I needed to have the answers to these questions.  WHY? If I didn’t know where I wanted to go how did I expect to get there? Knowing the answers to difficult questions like these were crucial in turning my life around.  Whenever I questioned my life I would go back to these questions, what I had written and I instantly knew I was on the right path.  A good book with some great questions is “Good to GREAT”… It’s a business book BUT what’s the difference?  I like to think of myself as a company- Lacey Stone, INC… If I want to be a well run company I need to know what I stand for, right? 🙂

MY TRUTH – I needed one good friend to help me get through this. I didn’t need a group of girls or a lover, but I did need someone who would listen to me. This process is not easy to go at without the support of other people on the same journey.  I found some of my closet friends at Equinox, Thank YOU (To everyone at Equinox thank you… my clients, my gamers, my bootys, my spinners, you help me to believe anything’s possible) annddd thank you Mom and Dad, of course 🙂

MY TRUTH – Every SINGLE moment matters.  Here’s what I do, I make a list every single day of what I want to accomplish.  The list has personal, professional, and relationship goals.  Every day I work towards these goals.  BALANCE: A lot of times the goals get out of balance.  One area will become more prominent than an other BUT the important thing for me is that I know what my goals are. Sssoooo, if I get a little outta whack I can take immediate action to correct the imbalance.  Knowing where I want to go gives me immense confidence and helps me to stay centered in my life. If I don’t know who I want to be and where I want to go of course I’m going to feel on edge. EVERY DAY matters, every hour, every minute, every second.  Know where you want to go and MAKE IT HAPPEN. 

MY TRUTH – Once I worked hard towards reaching my goals…  I’m talking a year or two under your belt; I’d lost the 30lbs, got signed by Reebok, did a Nike Event, started my own company, met Jessica…. ONCE I started to see all these successes personally and professionally I knew I was on the right track. I’d  built a strong sense of self and an undeniable confidence.  People started describing me in a way I’d never been described before. They said I was happy and the fact was that some how it had become true.  For the first time in my life… I Lacey Stone was happy.  It’s not an easy road my friends. EASY is never a word I’ll use to describe the process of changing my life. I would describe it as HARD as HELL, however it’s Sooooo WORTH IT….  AND once I made it past a point, crossed the line between old Lacey and new Lacey, there was no turning back. I had changed forever.  

My TRUTH – Anything is possible if you have the courage to pursue it.

Was this dose of my reality a little too harsh… Have you ever turned something in your life around?





8 Responses to “The Fork in the ROAD”

  1. 1 Erin
    October 12, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    Great post. I’ve been staring at the big, wide fork for about a year. Just as I was about to pull it out of the ground, the Friday before Christmas my partner and I (out of the blue) were called about adopting a baby (now, our son), three weeks later. Then, due to a flood right after christmas, our kitchen was ripped down to the studs, and we spent the next two months either with in-laws or at a hotel (with a newborn baby)! Six months later, the kitchen is finally finished, we’ve been to SF to get married, and just finished hosting a reception. A wonderful year, yet as the clouds disperse, the fork, remains. Now, seemingly solidified in stone.

    So, I started hacking away at it a week or so ago. Your post is good timing. Like you, I’m tired of feeling bad about myself (which is not something I normally feel), and wishing things were different. I’ve been an athlete most of my life, and firmly believe anything can be overcome. But my “glory days” were 45 pounds ago, which seems like a long way away right now.

    But, like you said, it means making big changes (and luckily I have a VERY supportive partner – we’ve been together 14 years and are on the same page with making a healthy lifestyle a behavior, and not a diet). I want to do this not only for myself, but also to set an example for our son.

    This is a LOOONNNGG comment (SORRY!) to say thank you. Thank you for showcasing the reality of what it takes, in all is gory, oops, I mean glory! 🙂 I need to get back on the wagon, which means facing my fears/dislike (??) of solo-exercise, which is what it’s going to take.

    Thanks to you both for your honesty on every subject. It’s refreshing to read.

  2. 2 Lynn
    October 13, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Congrats Lacey. I’m glad you’re so happy. Sounds like you’ve been on quite a journey… and what a blessing to have figured this all out so early in life. Now you can truly enjoy everything to come.

  3. October 13, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Thank YOU for your comments Erin and Lynn 🙂 Yes, Lynn I’ve come a long way since the days you use to baby-sit me at the pool… Although you didn’t have to do that much because I think I stayed in the pool from 10am-4pm, right? 🙂

    ERIN – First off congratulations on your Marriage and your son… That’s some MAJOR stuff… annnddd YOU won’t have to workout alone for much longer 🙂 This Friday I’m partnering with Podcastgo.com who is launching my NEW online workout series… YOU can workout with ME! 🙂 YAY! YOU all can 🙂

    Life does get in the way of Life sometimes, I know… BUT now that you feel like you’ve gotten back on track do it woman! YOU GOT THIS! x

  4. 4 Angelica
    October 14, 2008 at 1:43 am

    that was not R-rated at all 🙂 unless you count the 3 times you cussed/cursed. more like a PG-13 version 😉

    very nicely written. and that just hit a little to close to home. what especially stood out for me was the “sense of self” & “undeniable confidence.” i have to figure out who i am and what i am before i get anyone involved in my life….or at least thats what i tell my relatives whenever they ask me if i have a boyfriend yet 😉 i believe everyone should work towards their goals and do what makes them happy in life…and then (i’d like to think) the rest will fall into place once you know who you are & work towards what you want in life. rather than searching for someone to try to make you happy.

    but i agree with you entirely & love that you put it all out there because thats just what i needed to hear (i mean read) right now 🙂

  5. 5 Bee
    October 14, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Brilliant. I get it. I’m there. From the safety blankets to the friends. It is refreshing to read that someone else thinks and knows this Change Your Life stuff is grueling hard work, each minute of each day. Congrats on your successes. Proof: A great life requires sweat equity.

  6. 6 youkay
    October 16, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    right, i guess that means i’m off too the gym 😉

    anything worth having is worth fighting for…as they say.

  7. 7 Jacqui
    November 8, 2008 at 2:31 am

    Lacey, WHAT a post!? It’s very strong stuff.
    (I think you already know you’re my hero.)

    I related to one part particularly — I had to say goodbye to a friend who had a really bad energy a year or so ago. A lot of our mutual friends might have thought it was harsh, but I just had to be true to myself.

    And also– reading the post I realized how lucky I am to have a partner who doesn’t need to drink, … or go out on Friday and Saturday nights!

    Go LOVE! Go being ENGAGED!

    … now where is the engagement post????
    (or maybe you need a story-telling break? It’s been a big week)

  8. 8 Torpian
    March 7, 2010 at 12:13 am

    Lacey, I just read your post. You are absolutely right. It is damned hard. I started a similar journey recently. I only wish I was your age. I’m a bit older [let’s leave it at that]. It’s never too late and I know taking care of myself and freely choosing to be healthy and beautiful takes the three Ps [passion, persistence and patience] and sooooooo worth it. Thank you for the inspiration. Pls keep giving us the stark truth. I know I need to hear it.

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