What’s LOVE got to do with it?

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon in New York. I’m sitting in a café putting together this week’s class music and writing SweatCITY! Monday… As I’m looking for the cool-down songs and thinking about the blog I’ve come across Tina Turner’s hit, What’s Love got to do with it?- “What’s love… but a second hand emotion? What’s love got to do, got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”

The lyrics of the song got me thinking about what happened to me last night… Jessica and I watched the movie Out of Africa, it’s a ccraazzyy romance about love, loss and strength. The first time I watched the movie was after a dramatic real life break-up some seven years ago. At that time the movie made me feel better about my situation, it gave me peace.

Last night post love story drama-fest I found myself crying hysterically in Jessica’s arms. I guess watching it again after so many years opened up some wounds…  It reminded me of how much pain I once felt, how much darkness I’d gone through, how much I’ve grown, and how that pain and darkness are still looming in the wings.

I’ve been thinking a lot today about why I cried so hard last night, what it all means?  Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to – I don’t know what I think, I don’t know what it means…  You know that awful saying, “What does not kill us makes us stronger?”

That break-up did not kill me… I’m still very much alive, my heart was never physically broken because it’s always kept beating. I’ve done everything in my power to erase the pain in my heart, but no matter how much I do in my career, no matter how much Jessica loves me, no matter how hard I RUN-AWAY from it… It’s still there, it still hurts. AHHHHHH!!!!!  

Does it ever go away? I don’t know…  What does that mean?  I don’t think it means anything other than I got hurt.   

As in Fitness, as in life, as in love… We can’t control or change what’s happened to us in the past.  All we have control over is how we choose to react to it today.  Life is a continuous journey of love, loss, and strength.  Lovers beware:  If you want to play the game of love it’s impossible to avoid getting hurt. Did you hear me, do you agree with me?  Loss and pain are important parts of the journey. I feel like lots of people, ESPECIALLY the media, try to tell us it’s supposed to be easy…. That love shouldn’t hurt and if it starts to hurt then there’s something wrong with the relationship, that we should break-up.

But I don’t believe them… I refuse to believe them.  Being in a relationship involves so many variables, it involves her, it involves me, it involves pain, joy, patience, passion, persistence, faith, tears, laughter… It’s a roller coaster; if it’s real it can be a bright beautiful sunshine or it can be a grey ugly thunder storm.

“Happily every after,” is wonderful in theory.   It’s a lovely package they sell in Hollywood, it’s a quick fix diet, but it’s not the real deal.  What’s real is right now, every second of every day of every week of every month of every year… That is life that’s what makes up a relationship.

So to answer Tina Turner’s question, What’s Love got to do with it?  Love has everything to do with it… Fight for that LOVE in your heart,  if you get hurt find a way to keep your love alive.  The pain will slowly go away or transform into something else but never lose the love because when you lose the love in your heart you lose yourself.  When you lose yourself you become a sad and angry person.  That’s not you, that’s not who you were born to be.

I’ve found for myself that when I lose me, no million dollars, no size 2 jeans, no super model girlfriend can ever get me back.  Yes it’s hard when it feels like your heart is broken into a thousands pieces but once you start finding the love again, once you start putting the pieces back together… You’ll find yourself again and realize that you can love again.  Once you’ve loved and lost you will come to know that you can overcome anything.  You will come to know that loving is living.

Sooo… What’s Love got to do with it? 🙂





13 Responses to “What’s LOVE got to do with it?”

  1. September 7, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    “What’s love got to do with it?” Funny you ask I just recently heard this song while at my retail job. I was about to bust out into song right there in the isle, but decided against it. Ha-ha…

    Aw! I love when a person can open up about something dark that still pains them. *hugs* I’m glad you’re OK Lacey and at least you’re able to admit to yourself the love and lose you felt/feel. It made me think if my first girlfriend and 16 -17… How different that life was then, how upset I was, and how innocent I was to pain and betrayal. I think there’s different stages of innocence, but to me it’s better to have known it all, to experience it all. In the long run it’ll make you a better person and you’ll have more to draw from in your life and for others.

    What’s love got to do with it? You’re exactly right, everything.

  2. September 8, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

    What’s Love got to do with it? Everything cause
    if you have it [Love], you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.

  3. September 8, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Wow… Rebecca and Rachel JW, you two are spot on! Thank YOU for your comments… The last sentence of Rebecca’s post says IT ALL! 🙂

  4. 4 Jill
    September 8, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    This blog is a treat to read. In addition to your information on living a healthy lifestyle, you both have a fantastic attitude about life and articulate your knowledge, thoughts and emotions far better than I ever could. Thanks for creating it!

  5. 5 youkay
    September 8, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    your honesty challenges me. this blog is something else. i guess that sometimes love is the arms you fall into when the ghosts make an appearance. without love we’d all be alone, and anybody who saw castaway knows how that works out. i say we are born to be wildy in love, and that has everything to do with everything.

  6. 6 kate tempesta
    September 9, 2008 at 1:14 am

    unreal!!!!! you are awesome!!!!!

  7. September 9, 2008 at 2:23 am

    Thank YOU guys… YOU make it all worth it! 🙂 🙂 Can’t wait to read what Jessica writes for us Wednesday! She can’t complain about the wrappers anymore, I got it sorted 🙂 hehe

  8. 9 Anonymous
    September 11, 2008 at 4:10 am

    Lace!!! This reminds me of the ”letter” talk we had the last time I visited you in NYC with Katha and I balled like a baby! Wow… funny how those things can just hit us sometimes huh? Sometimes when we even least expect it to. And oh how I agree with:
    ”You’ll find yourself again and realize that you can love again. Once you’ve loved and lost you will come to know that you can overcome anything. You will come to know that loving is living.”
    Beautifully stated Lace. Look at us huh? Who ever thought we would be beyond our years 😉 Love the honesty and realness of the blog because you guys talk about things that everyone can relate to. As you said, the media always tries to portray ”the perfect picture” but it seems more and more of us want the real thing and ultimately we want to talk about what we all go through as actual human beings. Love the RAWNESS baby! Keep it up 🙂 BTW, is MTL in your plans? Come on, you know every time I comment that will always come up 😉

  9. 10 Angelica
    September 11, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    nice 🙂

    i think old wounds are sooo easy to open. you think you’re over something or someone & then bam…some little thing triggers a memory & old emotions. it blows 🙂 but, i believe that the best way to completely move on is not to try to forget about the past (because you’re long term memory won’t let you, believe me) but rather, go through it. i find that most people try to distract themselves rather then deal with their past. hell, i do it myself. but sometimes i think its best to face the situation head on. and if you can’t reconcile with the person, the next best thing you can do is forgive them wholeheartedly (which is easier said then done 🙂 but you’ll be surprised how much you were able to let go once you’ve forgiven someone. its a freakin awesome feeling! 🙂 and then continue to love them (platonically of course) and hope that they’re doing fine in their life.

    and the only reason i feel this way is because the “thing” i’ve been trying ot get over took me 3yrs to finally realize that i needed to forgive her, rather than keep the pain 🙂

    btw, in case anyone is interested in a REALLY good book about forgiving others so you can move on its called “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere

    and don’t let the title freak you out. its actually a REALLY REALLY good read & makes you think A LOT because it can relate to everyone 🙂

  10. 11 Anonymous
    September 12, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    A little blurb I recently recieved and is all about forgiveness 🙂 Well said Angelica!

    We have to say to you that forgiveness doesn’t fit in very well with the art of allowing, because you’ve got to dig up what you’re forgiving. The strange thing about forgiveness – it doesn’t have to be this way, but it often is – is that, when you hear people talking about forgiveness they’re usually talking about what they’re forgiving. ‘Oh yeah, it’s a terrible thing she did to me. [and with mock anger…] But I forgive her.’ [laughter] And what happens is anything that you give your attention to activates in your vibration. So if something has hurt you, and you are working to forgive it, you are activating.

    Forgiveness is almost exactly the same, in fact would we say it is exactly the same, as saying ‘I’m going to deactivate this thing that hurt me’. And we would say the reason that it doesn’t go very far and the reason that people struggle so hard with the idea of forgiveness is because they keep digging up the stuff they don’t want and keeping it active in their vibration so that they have a stream of people they have to forgive. They forgave their mother for what she did and kept it alive and then they had to forgive this lover and this lover and this lover and this lover. And every day it’s an eternal quest to forgive. And we say why not just let it go and activate something that doesn’t need forgiving.

    Any person is like a microcosm of the Universe. They have within them things that you adore and things that you would rather not see. And if you are forgiving some of the stuff you don’t want to see you are keeping it active so it becomes a bigger part of the personality that that person is giving to you. But if you ignore that by activating the things that you appreciate, oh that’s a whole other thing.

    So we would give forgiveness a new definition. We would say the ultimate way of forgiving is really forgetting. And the ultimate way of forgetting really is by remembering something you want to remember.

  11. 12 K-Lo
    September 14, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    By the way, I got this little blurb above from an Abraham-Hicks session. Some good stuff!

  12. September 16, 2008 at 2:25 am

    K-LO!!! I love yOU!! Thank YOU for your comments… I loooovee it all. MTL has been postponed indefinitely…. BOO! YOU should come and visit Jessica and I in New York over the holidays, what do you say? 🙂 🙂

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