Perfection is fake.

I want you look at the photograph I’ve posted here.  That’s my face on a computer screen.  That’s my face after an hour of make up from an extremely successful make up artist and several hours of work on my hair.  That’s an image shot in light designed to make my face look as perfect as possible. And then the real work begins; the photo is scanned in digitally and the technician sets to work with Photoshop, erasing every line, every pore, the scar I have on my cheek is gone.  They can widen my eyes, thin my legs, make my ears smaller and give me a cleavage you’d thank the plastic surgeon for.

The photo from my last post “Yes, I’m a homo.” The one with the luxuriously thick voluminous hair, the one that I got all these Myspace posts asking how I got it like that?  I didn’t….It was for a shoot. It took a professional 2.5 hours and involved more real hair extensions than the actual hair I have on my head.  It was blow-dried and wind blown and hair tonged to within an inch of its life. The photo was taken by the hair-stylist, because he was so proud of his creation, and rightfully so.

What’s my point?  It’s that the visual images that you see of models and celebrities are not real.  Yes, underneath all that razzmatazz they’re probably kind of cute but they, we, are far from physically perfect. Even Giselle hates her nose and tries to slim it with makeup.  Comparing yourself to these images, holding yourself up to the mirror of illusory perfection will do nothing more than erode your spirit. 

Happiness doesn’t come in one size like a sweater.  It’s about respecting and loving our uniqueness, not getting bogged down in what we can’t do, or don’t look like, but embracing what we can rock out like no other person!

For example I have ‘cankles’ (I know you won’t believe me but that’s good styling and careful posing for you 🙂 ) and I’m terribly, mind-shatteringly bad at math. 

Ok, so fine… I have a great selection of sexy ass Long Boots, a good calculator,  and I treat myself to a great accountant at Tax Time 🙂  I have nice hair (even without the extensions) so I blow it out when I want to feel more confident. I love writing 🙂 … So I’m writing this blog with Lacey and a Book in the near Future.  I find a way to make my good qualities the things I focus on. Focusing on my good qualities helps me to be happy.  No… Not always… But a large percentage of the time, and that’s just fine with me, because I know no matter how much we might want it to be LIFE ISN’T PERFECT. 

It’s how you respond to it that counts.

Ultimately it’s all about a choice to live in the positive, in the place where we can TAKE ACTION and make decisions about things we CAN control.  Sometimes life just is.  It’s never going to be ‘perfect’. No one can rescue us but US.  If we sit home and hate on ourselves… If we wait for the knight in shining armor to come and make us feel good, we’re going to be waiting a long time. 

Not only that but when we do meet someone great we can fall into the trap of expecting them to ‘make it all better,’ to make our lives ‘perfect’, an unfair and unrealistic expectation that can destroy what could’ve been something perfectly imperfect.  Just like me.  Just like you.

Who here finds themselves caught in the negative a lot?  Any tips for refocusing our brains onto what makes us feel powerful and happy?


10 Responses to “Perfection is fake.”

  1. August 12, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    I must applaud you Jessica, this was beautifully said. I’m glad someone has enough courage to say it… Everything anyone ever sees in a magazine goes through a fine tooth comb and airbrushed to perfection. I don’t agree with young women modeling themselves after it, because it’s unrealistic and an unhealthy image to have for any individual. So basically love yourself! “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

    You are beautiful naturally never forget that though. (With our without the hair extensions.)

    I think more women need to hear this from a woman who knows… Xoxo

  2. August 12, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    “Love is a great beautifier.”

  3. 3 Angelica
    August 13, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    What is the point of this blog, really? To inspire people to be the best they can be, or to inspire them to be the best they can be by following YOUR rules? A model and a trainer, together making the rest of the population feel like crap because they eat bread and are not a size 2. Beautiful.

  4. 4 jessica clark
    August 13, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Hi Angelica

    Our blog came to be because people ask us both A LOT; what it is we eat, how we work out, and how we have made changes in our lives. That is why we share our stories; our successes and struggles.

    There are no rules. There is no ‘one size’ to be. It makes us sad that you feel that is the purpose of this blog, when it is quite the opposite. If you came here seeking inspiration and did not find it, then please share with us exactly WHAT WOULD inspire you? We would genuinely like to know, which is why we’re choosing to post your comment up here.

  5. August 14, 2008 at 1:24 am

    (What is the point of this blog, really?)

    Uhh! No one is forcing you to read it. I can sense jealousy. Millions of other blogs for you to read. Take a chill pill or start working on yourself. Don’t think everything is perfect for them cause one is a trainer the other a model. We all got issues no matter how pretty one is or well written post.

    Do me a favor and read between the lines. They work damn hard for it. Unless these hotties have got a gun to your head you can live by your own rules.

  6. 6 Angelica
    August 14, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    I don’t know either of you. I came to this blog on the recommendation of a friend who knows Lacey through her gym. I just find it ironic that two people whose job is purely based on their image are writing about feeling good on the inside while at the same time passing along the fitness tips. I would be more inspired if you shared what has worked for you, and didn’t try to disguise under the “feel good on the inside” mask, because it’s obvious that’s not what this blog is about.

  7. August 14, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Hi Angelica,

    Why don’t you come to my class with your friend?! I would LOVE to meet you in person. I think when we meet in person it will become obvious to you that there’s nothing ironic, no disguises, and no masks here. NONE. If you want to believe that our intentions for writing this blog are negative that’s all you girl.

    I’m writing this blog because my work is my passion… What I learn from my clients and through my life experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I’m not perfect, but I’m proud of who I am… I want everyone to be proud of who they are, and If that’s crime I guess I’m guilty. Call the COPS!

    Please come to class… I really want to talk to you. I think you are missing the POINT of the entire blog. What has worked for both Jessica and I is exactly what you refuse to believe. How we have found happiness is from the inside out. It’s how I’ve made every major breakthrough in my life. That’s where I believe and know success to come from.

    It may sound silly to you, in fact you’ve expressed that it does. BUT try it, it’s actually very difficult to stand up for your own life, to stop pointing fingers at others for your sadness… YOU are responsible for your own choices. Try to stop making excuses as to why you can’t and start finding solutions to how you can. Once you can get out of your own way… YOU will be amazed at how powerful you are. There are 1000 fitness books on the market today telling you how to eat and how to workout. The information is out there already, so why don’t you do it? YOU are the solution, and how YOU feel inside is always going to determine your destiny.

    If you don’t agree with what I’m saying… or don’t understand what I’m trying to get across to you, I’m sorry.
    And if you haven’t tried this method in your life I highly suggest it, it works.

  8. 8 Anonymous
    August 14, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Who cares what the point of this blog is? Maybe its authors intended it to inspire, maybe they’re using it as practice for writing a book, maybe they’re killing time in between squats and blowing out their hair. People read blogs based on what THEY get from them, not what the “point” is. If you get something from this blog (and clearly it’s enticed you enough to post a reply and then another one, so SOMETHING intrigues you here), then keep reading. If not, move on to the self-help aisle or watch Oprah–whatever. But, in your defense, I think a blog is more interesting when people’s comments are not all about “I love you and your blog” because that gets boring and old really quick. I think this blog is interesting because it can be controversial, and to some, maybe even off-putting that the topics are often rules to live by from a trainer and a model.

  9. 9 Shane
    August 15, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Hi everyone,
    I’m Shane,new here… I have been reading your blog,Ms. Stone and Ms. Clark for a while and I’m enjoying what I read. I find your posts very extraordinary,insightful and informative. Ms. Clark your modesty is very alluring and infectious, and that’s admirable. Ms. Stone you’re astute and hilarious “call the COPS” lol and there is no denying that you have passion for what you do.
    I wish you both success on your book and I will be eagerly awaiting its publishing.
    You two are too cute together 🙂

  10. 10 ariela
    August 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    In response to this post:

    I really appreciate what you say here: “Ultimately it’s all about a choice to live in the positive, in the place where we can TAKE ACTION and make decisions about things we CAN control.”

    Man, if only I could have someone repeat that to me in all those moments I feel the need for reassurance (and there are a lot of those!). I love this lesson, and it’s something you’ve been reinforcing since the first few posts on this blog.

    Taking Lacey’s classes is, for me, surrounding myself with positive energy, pushing myself in a helpful, exciting, and fun way; brushing off whatever else I have going on that day and letting the “team” energy carry me through. And the formula works. I’ve certainly never left a workout feeling worse!

    Of course, I still wouldn’t mind a little airbrush artistry in real life…

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