Archive for August, 2008


Heeeyyyyy!!! Is it worth the risk?

Here at SweatCity we’re all about challenging ourselves to be the best that we can be.  We’re all about personal growth, about ‘stretch’, about striving to evolve.  We try to apply this to every area of our lives, to our bodies; how fit and strong they are, how lean and defined or muscular, how they feel from the inside out.  We try to apply it to our careers, to our personal lives, to our friendships.

So why does nobody ever mention that it’s actually those times of stretch and growth that are often the most difficult to deal with in a relationship?  I hear how hard it is for people who are trying to implement positive, healthful changes in the food choices they make, or increasing the regularity of their gym visits, when their friends or partner just isn’t supportive.  It’s a common theme that we rarely take into account. 

Writing this blog is an interesting experience because sometimes for me it’s a case of opening up about my learning process while I’m still learning and growing into it myself.  Lacey and I have been disagreeing a lot recently. Not about anything really, and I can understand if that sounds strange.  But we’ve both been working incredibly hard at evolving as women, as professionals, as individuals. 

These are all wonderful things to focus on, and I honestly believe that they’re at the core of any healthy relationship.  But perhaps because we’d got to a greater level of intimacy and commitment in the relationship we hadn’t necessarily been communicating these changes, this individual growth that we’d both been experiencing as people.   I assumed she knew.  She had her own ideas about what was happening.  When it appeared that the two different stories didn’t mesh, instead of trying to explain where I was coming from in the first place, I would either get hurt, or angry.

Where was the anger coming from?  I think somewhere deep inside I was retreating to a place that said “She should KNOW how you feel.  And if she doesn’t, it’s because she doesn’t care enough to find out.”  Which is all very well and good if I want to be a passive aggressive five year old for the rest of my life; but not so much if I want to continue to grow as a woman and nurture my relationship at the same time.

The truth is that whatever positive changes are happening in our lives, whatever amazing steps we’re taking to be more and more the person we know we’re capable of, we have to communicate this to our friends and loved ones if we really want them to know, understand and be supportive of us.  Whether it’s losing weight, or trying to get a promotion, or working on becoming more assertive in our personal lives, if we keep it to ourselves, if we don’t share how excited we are to be evolving, how proud, how scared….

If they don’t know that we’re doing it to feel better/sexier in ourselves…. which then in turn means we feel better/sexier in the relationship, or to get the kind of job we (and they) can be really proud of us for, if we’re trying to speak up so they can know and love the real us, then they may be thinking our motive are something entirely different.  That we’re working out to attract a hotter mate than them, or cooler friends, that we need a promotion because we think they don’t make enough money, that we’re speaking up more, or more assertively than they’re used to because we’re fed up with them, that we don’t care anymore.  Everybody has their own insecurities and fears.  I know I do….  That the person I am, the person I want to be won’t be liked, won’t be wanted.

It’s a risk, opening yourself up, it’s scary that maybe they’ll laugh when we tell them why we really want to work harder, eat healthier food, or drink less alcohol.  And yes I guess that’s possible.  But I truly believe that most people in our lives want to be there, and want to know us for who we really are.  We are cheating ourselves and them if we deny them the opportunity to really know who we are and who we dream of being.

So I’ve been committing myself to taking that risk, and this blog is a part of that.

Is there a risk that you’ve wanted to take recently?  Did you do it? Will you take it?


Are YOU a Super Hero?

I was reading an article about Michael Phelps and it really made me think.  The article said Michael is on this planet to be a Swimming Machine, that he’s a real-life Aquaman.  He has GIANT Feet and Hands, he’s double jointed at the knee/hip/shoulder joints, he has a ridiculously large and powerful heart, and his height and wingspan are unparalleled to anyone in the water.  BOTTTOM LINE: The man was born to be an Olympic Swimming Champion.

He found his place, his calling…  After reading the article it got me thinking. What if Michael hadn’t found the water? What if as child he never found his calling, where would his life be now?  By all accounts he’s kind of shy, kind of a nerd…  If Michael hadn’t found the water he wouldn’t be an American Hero, he’d just be some enormous awkward white guy 🙂

Here’s what I think; Everyone has a quality in them that’s extraordinary, a Super Power, we just need to find it.  Sometimes the “Power” isn’t obvious to the eye, I find it’s often something people are afraid of or are told to stop doing at a very young age. 

Americans (not you of course 🙂  ) love to label people or put them into boxes… But the truth is most of us don’t fit into any box, we’re bigger than a label.  It’s very important that we figure out what our Super Power is so we don’t end up in some “box” we’re not suppose to be in for the rest of our lives.

Albert Einstein was awful in school but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a Genius… He changed the face of the world forever. What if Martin Luther King believed because he was a black man he shouldn’t speak up (Courage)? What if Helen Keller thought because I’m deaf and blind I can’t have any impact (Bravery)?  What if Amelia Earhart thought because I’m a woman I shouldn’t fly a plane (Adventurous)? What if Rosa Parks thought because I’m a black woman I should just move to the back of the bus (Inner Strength)?  These are people who took a stand for what they believed in, for who they are… They are real life Super Heroes.

These are extreme examples of people using their Super Powers but you don’t have to change the world to capitalize on your hidden talent. Think about the people you know who are extraordinarily successful in one area of their life. I bet they figured out their Super Power.

Here’s two examples:  I have a friend who’s a wizard at math and has an unbelievable ability to hang on when everyone else wants to give up… in High School he was told he was a nerd and a loser.  He’s capitalized on his Super Power and is now a President at Goldman Sachs. I have another friend who’s amazing at making connections and networking… At a former job she was told this is a man’s world honey.  She’s now the Vice President of sales at MySpace. The person who laughs last laughs the loudest.

I believe that all of us have the potential for greatness; It’s not just in some of us it’s in all of us.  Find your Super Power and watch what happens.

Do you believe in the idea of Super Powers?




Do you believe in The One?

Lacey and I went out to dinner last night with a friend.  He’s a great looking guy.  He’s single, straight, smart, good job, athletic, funny.  Yeah….a total catch if you’re a straight woman.  The kind of guy NYC has in short supply.  All in all, the kind of guy that never has a problem getting a hot date for the weekend.

Want to know what we talked about?  How hard it is to find that special someone who has all the qualities on our list.  This hot guy, who according to the media, men’s magazines and TV shows, should only be focused on getting laid; this is what he wanted to talk about.  However we identify and no matter who we’re drawn to, everyone has something to say on this subject.  Why is it so hard?  Why is there always so much drama, or not enough?

How some of us…  most of us, seem to be looking, seeking, searching,  WAITING for the day we find that person… OR whether it’s even possible to find them?  If “The One” can really exist or if our list just gets even more specific, while we get even more set in our own way of doing things, until no key could quite fit into the narrow lock that really wants to be opened.  Until finally we quit the whole idea of a long-term successful relationship altogether.  Or we become tired of being a serial monogamist, a “one and done” multiple dater, or a sassy singleton, and choose to ‘settle.’

Is it unrealistic to hold out for that idealized individual, that great romance that some of us have in our minds eye?   It makes me wonder which is the greater disservice to us.  Giving up on the chance of true love?  Or the risk of looking past the person we could be so happy with because they don’t fit the criteria we’ve decided upon in our heads?  What does it mean to find your perfect match?

For me, falling in love with Lacey didn’t feel at all like what the story books, movies, and love songs had led me to believe great love would feel like.  Honestly, it was like my brain or my heart, or whatever I could think of to blame had dropped a great big ‘L-Bomb’ into my body.  I was scared. I felt vulnerable.  I was angry because I felt scared and vulnerable.  And…  I don’t think Lacey was all that happy about it either.  🙂  Those first six months, the first year, isn’t it supposedly all loved up lust, sunshine and fairy dust?  Well our first year was tough.  We both had baggage… (who doesn’t?), we had very different relationship histories, we had incompatible social circles, We had DRAMA.  A friend of mine still laughs about the day she asked me how it was all going and I replied in all seriousness… “Actually it’s great, we’ve got the drama fests down to every couple of weeks now.”

So why stick it out?  In my opinion, all externals aside, she was (and still is) the most interesting person I know.  She’s the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning, she’s the person who I can’t wait to talk to about my day, she’s the person whose opinion I respect beyond belief.  And if I’m honest about the truth I’ve learnt from my journey through dysfunction to present happiness… Nothing worthwhile comes easy.

When I first started working out again after years of under-eating and chain-smoking cigarettes I couldn’t run more than 20 meters without wanting to pass out, literally.  So everyday I ran just a few meters more and walked the rest until eventually I could run the mile long circuit without stopping.  The first time I had to lose weight healthily without any destructive behaviors I had to get focused, get educated on how to eat and develop a support system, friends, coworkers, gym buddies, a therapist that would help the new me stay disciplined.

Why would the same be any different when I fell in love with another person… someone as independent, and stubborn as me?  Especially as ‘independent’ I need someone like that, that was way up there on MY ‘list’!

I believe that it can be like it is in the movies, at least most of the time. IF both people want it, want the relationship enough to work for it.  Is there one great true love out there for each of us, OR are there many depending on where we are in our lives?  If I hadn’t jumped off the treadmill and asked Lacey out for coffee (yeah, I know… I’m bold 😉 ) would I be single now? 

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions, all I know is that the best relationships I see are when the people are committed to making it work…  the bumps in the road come, just like the cookies sometimes call to me from the supermarket aisle, it’s how we choose to respond to life and our relationships that matter.

And after all…  Who would watch a drama- less movie?

What do you think about the idea of true love?




If you’ve read some of my previous blogs you’ll know that I had a horrible relationship with food for a very long time.  I grew up in a family who are not particularly slim, with full plates at breakfast, lunch and dinner….and with that whole “clear your plate” mentality as well. So when I started to grow up, became a model and suddenly got very body conscious, my body and brain simply rebelled against the small piece of protein and tiny green salad that I saw the other models eating.  I couldn’t adjust.  It just wasn’t ENOUGH FOOD for me and eventually I would lose it and binge like crazy, setting up a horrible cycle of starvation, binge and purge. 

What helped me change?

For the last four years I have been eating in the style nicknamed VOLUMETRICS, and it has truly helped me change my understanding of eating.  I like to eat a lot of food, I don’t want to feel stuffed after a meal but I do need to feel satisfied and full.  What I do is to chose foods partly based on the VOLUME they have on the plate and therefore in my body.

For example….if I’m craving something sweet I now know that for the same amount of calories that are in your average candy bar (that is eaten and gone in a flash) I can eat a HUGE bowl of  berries, or diced up apples and pears with low fat yoghurt (dairy or soy).  The enjoyment lasts a lot longer, it takes up way more space in my stomach so I don’t crave more food immediately and there is protein in the yoghurt, which helps me to feel satiated. It is also HIGHLY nutritious.  There’s no energy crash, there’s not the yucky sense of guilt that I get if I eat candy and my sweet tooth is satisfied. 

Soup is a big part of my food life too.  Not really ever AS the meal but definitely as a side.  I don’t really go near the cream-laden ones but I love Miso soup, the Thai-style Tom Yum soup, or just a great tomato based Garden Vegetable.  They’re all delicious but more than that they give my body that warm and cozy feeling that I want when I’m tired and hungry.  It means that when I move on to the next part of my meal I’m a lot less likely to go crazy and overeat.  Sometimes I’m industrious and make my own, or get delivery. Tinned also works, especially if I’ve been traveling a lot and there’s nothing in the fridge, but I try and get the low-sodium kinds, (less salt = less bloating, and is more heart healthy in general).

I really try and incorporate as many veggies into each meal as possible.  They’re super HIGH in nutrients, super LOW in calories and have been shown to have just about every antioxidant, cancer fighting compound there is to have.  They’re also very high in fiber which most of us apparently don’t get nearly enough of.  Fiber fills us up, and also helps the body cleanse itself….meaning less bloating (which means I feel a whole lot better!). So if I’m making rice, I mix in chopped peppers, zucchini, carrots, squash, peas, onions, asparagus, broccoli….whatever I like!  The dish is colorful and has great crunchy textures, a double whammy of the good stuff and all the vegetables I mentioned are almost calorie free.  You don’t even notice that you’re eating less rice because you get full from all the extra volume the vegetables have added in there.  I use this trick with almost all my carbs, and even when I’m making omelets or a sauce for my protein. 

If we’re ordering take-out (hey….it’s NYC…take-out’s BIG! :))  then I get my entrée with either a large mixed salad or steamed vegetables and I take out half of the carbs from my entrée and literally mix in the veg.  If I’ve ordered a Thai stir-fry (kind of a popular, healthy option for me) and I have a job coming up…or a party or I want to feel good on the beach even…..then I’ll use the salad as a base for the stir-fry instead of rice.  Lacey does this too now and says she doesn’t even really realize the rice isn’t there anymore.  

I mix in chopped fruit and some raw almonds into my oatmeal in the am too…VOLUMETRICS has really changed my way of thinking about eating healthily from deprivation to a nutrient rich feast.  The beauty of it is that it doesn’t require much of a special diet-plan or food substitutes I’ve never heard of.  It really is just a few tricks that go such a long way, but it’s actually tricking my body into eating more of what it needs and less of the things I know I have a tendency to overeat on.  It’s helped me keep my body healthier and happier than ever before, with enough energy to workout, to work, study and generally live my life without obsessing about food every second.  And that has been a wonderful gift for me.






Hellloooo Everyone!

This Workout Works! This was something I did 40lbs ago, three times per week.  Last week I wrote a blog on The 5 KEYS to My Workout ( ). 

When following The Interval Workout, apply the 5 KEYS to your workout and I promise you’ll look GREAT and feel AMAZING!  It’s my belief that the MAJOR key to maintaining a successful fitness plan is finding a way to make the experience FUN.  If you enjoy it, you’ll do it!

The Interval Workout can be done with a Treadmill, a Track (outside), a jump rope, elliptical, swimming pool, on a bike or a Stairmaster.  YOU can stick to one machine or try all of them… Use what works for you.  I found the Treadmill to be the most effective for me.

YOU can do the interval workout for 20mins, 30mins, 45mins, or 1 hour.  Nothing more and nothing less… If this is your first time doing an Interval Workout I’d begin with 20mins and work your way up! 

Once I got use to this style of working out I would do it for 1 hour 3times/week.  The other two days I would do a spin class, or a non-interval elliptical/stairmaster workout.  Saturday I would do a mind-body workout – yoga, or Intensati For me Sunday was always OFF.


There are 3 Heart Rate/HR ZONES you need to be aware of.  Your Resting Heart Rate/RHR, your Steady State Heart Rate/SSHR, and your Max Heart Rate/MHR.

RHR = When you put the HR monitor on and you’re resting at your desk, what does the Monitor read?  That’s your RHR, easy! 🙂 On a scale of 1-10, 1 being easy and 10 being HARD the RHR feels like a 2.

SSHR and MHR:  There’s an equation you can use to find out your SSHR and your MHR, any Personal Trainer at any gym can help you with that ((220-RHR)-YOUR AGE)* (MHR% or SSHR%) + RHR = Target HR ZONE. However, today I’ll BREAK it down so you’ll easily understand your 3 Heart Rate Zones without the equation and without question.

SSHR:  A speed you feel comfortable with on any machine.  On a scale of 1-10, 1 being easy and 10 being HARD the SSHR would feel like a 6 or 7.

I’m going to use the Treadmill as an example.   My comfortable speed on a treadmill is a level 6; the number that registers on my heart rate monitor is around150bpm-160bpm.  That is my SSHR.

MHR:  Go on a Machine and increase the speed to a level that is somewhat-to-very uncomfortable for you. If the speed you choose produces your MHR then you should only be able to run at that speed for one minute without feeling like you’re going to go NUTS. If you can hold the speed for more than 2mins it’s not your MAX speed and will not produce your MHR.  On a scale of 1-10, 1 being easy and 10 being HARD, your MHR feels like a 10.

I’m going to use the Treadmill as an example.   My MAX speed on a treadmill is a level 8.5/9.5mph; the number that registers on my heart rate monitor is around 185bpm/MHR.


What do you need?  Water Bottle, Towel, Heart Rate Monitor, and Today I’m using the Treadmill

How Does It works?!

5min WARM-UP:  Walk into a JOG – Set the incline at 1, and by the end of 5 minutes your speed should be at your Steady State Speed and your SSHR.

I begin my workout by walking at a speed of 3mph… By the end of the 5min Warm-up I’m at a speed of 6mph and my SSHR is about 150bpm.


FIRST ROUND:  1st Interval– increase the speed on the Treadmill to your MAX Speed.  Run until the number on your heart monitor matches your MHR number. NOTE – It may take you 2minutes to get there, once you hit your MHR, RUN IT OUT for 1 minute.

YOUR MHR – The MAX on your heart monitor is your absolute limit; it’s a sprint not a jog.  It’s a speed that you can not maintain for longer than 1 minute, if you can maintain it for longer than 1 minute it’s not your MAX.  My MHR is between 185-190bpm and the speed on the Treadmill is usually around 8.5mph.

RECOVERY:  After the minute, decrease the speed on the Treadmill to your Steady State Speed, run at that speed until your HR recovers to your SSHR. Once the number on your HR monitor matches your SSHR continue running at that Steady State Speed for 2mins.

The training of your heart takes awhile depending on your fitness level.  The fitter you are the quicker your HR will return to an SSHR. The more out of shape you are the longer it will take to Recover. This workout is challenging for anyone looking to change his or her fitness level.  The Interval Workout WORKS for an Olympic Athlete or a novice.

SECOND ROUND:  2nd  Interval – After you’ve recovered for 2 minutes you repeat the First Round.  You repeat this workout until you hit the 5 minute mark… When there’re 5 minutes left, begin to cool down.

5min Cool-Down:  Slow down your speed to a jog – for me the speed on the Treadmill is 5mph. Then end the workout into a walk and feel proud of what you did TODAY!

The Interval Workout

What I like best:  You see RESULTS IMMEDIATELY.  Once you do the workout for two weeks you will recover quicker, aanndd the HR Monitor assures you that you’re doing something good for your body. The HR Monitor is proof, there’s no cheating because your heart doesn’t  lie…  As the weeks go by the pounds will drop off and you’ll begin to believe anything’s possible.

The 5 KEYS that make it more than a workout– Visualization, Location, Music, and The Heart Rate Monitor.  HRM – I like Polar HRM, they’re inexpensive and work. The one I used for years is still on the site The Polar FS1, it’s $60.

Let me know if you have any questions or concerns?  Aannnddd Goooo For it!!! 🙂





Perfection is fake.

I want you look at the photograph I’ve posted here.  That’s my face on a computer screen.  That’s my face after an hour of make up from an extremely successful make up artist and several hours of work on my hair.  That’s an image shot in light designed to make my face look as perfect as possible. And then the real work begins; the photo is scanned in digitally and the technician sets to work with Photoshop, erasing every line, every pore, the scar I have on my cheek is gone.  They can widen my eyes, thin my legs, make my ears smaller and give me a cleavage you’d thank the plastic surgeon for.

The photo from my last post “Yes, I’m a homo.” The one with the luxuriously thick voluminous hair, the one that I got all these Myspace posts asking how I got it like that?  I didn’t….It was for a shoot. It took a professional 2.5 hours and involved more real hair extensions than the actual hair I have on my head.  It was blow-dried and wind blown and hair tonged to within an inch of its life. The photo was taken by the hair-stylist, because he was so proud of his creation, and rightfully so.

What’s my point?  It’s that the visual images that you see of models and celebrities are not real.  Yes, underneath all that razzmatazz they’re probably kind of cute but they, we, are far from physically perfect. Even Giselle hates her nose and tries to slim it with makeup.  Comparing yourself to these images, holding yourself up to the mirror of illusory perfection will do nothing more than erode your spirit. 

Happiness doesn’t come in one size like a sweater.  It’s about respecting and loving our uniqueness, not getting bogged down in what we can’t do, or don’t look like, but embracing what we can rock out like no other person!

For example I have ‘cankles’ (I know you won’t believe me but that’s good styling and careful posing for you 🙂 ) and I’m terribly, mind-shatteringly bad at math. 

Ok, so fine… I have a great selection of sexy ass Long Boots, a good calculator,  and I treat myself to a great accountant at Tax Time 🙂  I have nice hair (even without the extensions) so I blow it out when I want to feel more confident. I love writing 🙂 … So I’m writing this blog with Lacey and a Book in the near Future.  I find a way to make my good qualities the things I focus on. Focusing on my good qualities helps me to be happy.  No… Not always… But a large percentage of the time, and that’s just fine with me, because I know no matter how much we might want it to be LIFE ISN’T PERFECT. 

It’s how you respond to it that counts.

Ultimately it’s all about a choice to live in the positive, in the place where we can TAKE ACTION and make decisions about things we CAN control.  Sometimes life just is.  It’s never going to be ‘perfect’. No one can rescue us but US.  If we sit home and hate on ourselves… If we wait for the knight in shining armor to come and make us feel good, we’re going to be waiting a long time. 

Not only that but when we do meet someone great we can fall into the trap of expecting them to ‘make it all better,’ to make our lives ‘perfect’, an unfair and unrealistic expectation that can destroy what could’ve been something perfectly imperfect.  Just like me.  Just like you.

Who here finds themselves caught in the negative a lot?  Any tips for refocusing our brains onto what makes us feel powerful and happy?


Do I need to sweat?

Here’s something I find interesting… People who call themselves runners when all they’re really doing is jogging.  There’s a HUGE difference between running and jogging. Night and DAY.

When one jogs you can carry on a lovely conversation, one doesn’t necessarily sweat, and one tends to get passed by runners. Here’s an example of what jogging looks like on a workout machine; A Television show can easily be watched, a book/magazine read, or my personal favorite – a conversation on a cell phone or a text-o-thon.  Listen, that’s fine and dandy if one wants to kill two birds with one stone, but it ain’t really workin out… And people who call that working out are missing the point. 

I see these same people tell their friends what a great “workout” they had at the gym and then proceed to reward themselves with the breadbasket at dinner.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that wasn’t even a workout… They hardly burned off one roll let alone a basket full of’em.

FACT:  Going on a machine and just movin for 30mins is not going to cutt it. I’m sorry.

Let’s talk about what working out it is… Not the miracle workout, not the workout that’s going save you so you never have to workout again. Lets talk reality, because we all live in the real world right? 

People that have extraordinary bodies that you admire… Go talk to them, seriously.  These people know that there’s no magic pill, no miracle workout. These people get their asses outta of bed and run until they’re going to throw-up, they work out HARD. These people have trained themselves to enjoy that.  These people don’t eat the breadbasket… They are disciplined and work for those bodies.  

AAAaannnndddd the ones that don’t work out and don’t choose healthy life styles BUT still look freakin great on the OUTSIDE… As fitness professional I shouldn’t say this… but I care.  Those people sadly mainly women are barely eating enough to survive.  Those women consider a soy latte a meal, those women are not very happy on the inside…. For them it’s not a lot of fun to be alone or to have to look at themselves in the mirror.  I’d RATHER bust my butt in the gym then be like them any day. 

Please STOP comparing yourself to women who are miserable… pppleeasseeee.  Sometimes looking good isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, my idea of what looking good is involves feeling good too. IF you don’t feel good what’s the point? 

There’s a small percentage of about 5 on the planet that don’t have to worry about working out or eating right… Most people no matter what they tell you do one or the other – Workout (TRULY Workout) or don’t eat.

I’m going to give you my Top 5 tips for a REAL Workout… One that will give you the body you deserve.

1. You can not read a magazine article while you’re doing a workout that’s real.

2.  You should want to be wearing short sleeves or shorts, if you’re comfortable wearing long pants or a sweatshirt it better be freezing because you need to be able to move. YOU gotta move to get results.

3. Sweating is key… Everyone sweats.  You need to get your body moving to a point where you need a towel.

4.  You should feel your body… When you put your hand on your chest you should be able to feel your heart beating through your skin.  If you don’t feel your heart beating rapidly at one point during your workout it wasn’t a GREAT workout that gets mmaaajjorrr results.

5.  I truly believe a workout that gets results involves a point where you question if you want to go on any longer.  If it’s easy/breezy the entire time you’re not giving what you need to give to get the results you want.

This workout is about a SEXY body… losing those extra 5, 10, 20, 30, whatever pounds. There‘s a time and a place for Yoga and Pilates but those two workouts will NOT get you a tight piece of ass you are looking for… YUP, you heard it here first.

Madonna worked her ass off before she considered yoga… That woman does 1 hour of yoga and 15 hours of dancing and taking over the world. That woman never stops.

I want you all to have the body of your dreams… I’m going to talk about my cardio workout in the next week. Know that anything worth having isn’t easy, if it were easy it wouldn’t be worth it.

How does that make you feel?





Do you hide part of who you are at work?


Being ok with my sexuality is something that has only happened in the past couple of years.  For the longest time I tried to hide it. I pretended I was straight so as not to scare people or offend people… I didn’t want to make anyone feel “uncomfortable.”

I love my job, I love working close to people, I love people.  I train people to be the best they can be in and outside of the gym.  As a Fitness Professional I do not want to just be someone that makes you sweat, or counts how many reps you’ve done… Anyone can do that. I want to inspire you to believe in yourself no matter what. I want you to be so strong inside that the outside just comes. I want you to take risks, I want you to dare to be your wildest dreams, I want you to believe that those dreams are possible.  That’s my mission.

And for me the only way I can authentically carry that message, that truth, is if I live that life.  If I hide who I am from people, if I live in shame, I will not be able to connect with them.  They will unconsciously know I’m insecure with who I am and they won’t be able to fully trust me. I want my clients to be the best they can be, mind-body-spirit… It is my belief that in order for me to be able to train my clients to do this they must know that I am on that same journey and doing my very best every single day to realize my potential. If I tell my clients to never give up, I can’t.  If I tell my clients that they need to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of who they are, I MUST do the same. 

That is why Jessica and I are sharing our stories on SweatCity!  We hope that our stories resonate with you and inspire you to be open to anything and everything life has to offer. 

I’m going to share with you one of my favorite quotes. This Quote is above my bed and I read it almost every single day… 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a higher power.  Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory within us.  It is not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.  And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Do you have to hide part of who you are at work? 

p.s. I love you mom 







Yes I’m a HOMO.

“So have you got a boyfriend?”  This question invariably arises at some point in the afternoon of a shoot.  This is after the many social conversations that everybody tends to have…”I’m going on vacation with my girlfriend”; “I’m moving in with my girlfriend”: “I’m a little stressed out because me and my girlfriend are both working so much we don’t get much time together right now”.

Do I have a boyfriend? “No…I have a GIRLFRIEND (the one I’ve been talking about all day!). I’m gay.

Pause. Silent appraisal.  Slightly incredulous “Really?”

Yes really.  Yes I’m a lesbian, gay, homosexual, queer.  Not Straight.

To Straight men: Yes I mean gay, not bi-sexual. No I don’t need to try a ‘real man’ thank you; No you can’t join in; No you can’t watch. No I do NOT miss men.  Ever. Yes, I really mean gay GAY.

To Straight women: Yes I used to date men as well; Yes I was always attracted to women…I would only play Drs and Nurses with girls…NEVER boys J; No it is definitely NOT “so much easier”, it’s not about being ‘over’ men and turning to a woman to feel better. We don’t just hold hands and play with each other’s hair…thank goodness!  IF you’re gay then you are as emotionally and sexually vulnerable with a woman as a straight woman is with a man. These women can and sometimes do break your heart.  No man could ever make me feel as alive, as excited, as loved, as satisfied or as scared as a woman has.  For me, only a woman can crush me emotionally, or make me happier than I ever thought possible.  Only a woman can truly have all of me: body and soul and heart and mind. 

To Gay Men; Yes Lacey’s really hot and yes, we’re really happy! Look…here’s a picture J


To Lesbians: I am not a TOURIST.  I am not a straight girl playing at being gay, not part of the lesbian-lite trend, this is not a fun game for me to entertain myself with before I “Go back to men”.  I am not “confused” thank you.  No I’m not a GoldStar, but neither are half of you and are any of you less gay for that reason?  Lacey is not my first, second or third girlfriend (although she is definitely the most AMAZING J) Yes, I’m extremely feminine in the way that I dress.  I know that I look a bit like a Barbie doll half of the time and yes, I probably would be taken more seriously as a gay woman if I changed my style.  But you’ve never even had a conversation with me and you assume you know what I’m all about.


Isn’t the point of the struggle for EQUALITY for gay people at least partly to do with the human right to be who we truly authentically are?  I could cut my hair and stop wearing dresses and high heels but that would be pretending to be something I’m not.  I’m not asking you to be attracted to me as a femme…that’s either what you like or not, but it pisses me off that that is used as a reason not to take me, or all the other femmes seriously. 

Surely the diversity of our culture is to be celebrated as a sign that more and more women feel freer to live the life we want; to love and desire whoever we want?




What’s the Deal with 3pm?

Talk to me… Yesterday I was cleaning my room and I came across some Fitness/Life journals.  When I began my fitness quest several years ago I kept lots of journals to monitor my progress.   As I was looking through several of my journals I recognized a MAJOR pattern that occurs in my life. For some reason at 3pm life gets a little challenging?

Sooooo here’s what I’m thinking, let me know if you agree with my theory or think it’s bollocks (as Jessica would say 🙂 ).

Everyone knows that we’re never really happy when we first wake up in the morning… Not a lot of people jump outta bed and say – YYYEESSS!!!!!  A lot of times we wake up and say something kinda negative, right?  And if we’re crabby in the early morning our excuse is, “oh it’s just early.”

By around 8.30am or depending on our own personal schedules somehow we get ourselves out of it and we’re kinda pumped for the day. We know LUNCH is right around the corner and everybody loves a good lunch break. We come back from lunch, check some emails, BLAST out some work… And then it hits us.

3pm… No one talks about it but everyone knows it.  I like to call it the “3pm SLUMP.”  It’s that time in the day where we’re not half way done because it’s only 3!  3-5 is one of the most under rated times of the day, it’s the worst.  We start questioning ourselves, doubting our lives, planning escape routes… We start to think there must be something wrong with us, why are we upset it’s only 3? 

BBUUUTTTT, have no fear 5pm is HERE!  All the sudden something hits YOU, you get a quick boost of energy, right? You know you’re almost done with your day… You get kind of excited 🙂 YOU finish things up and get the heck out of dodge as quickly as possible! Am I alone here, or do you agree with my 3pm SLUMP Theory?

I know we often question ourselves right before we hit the pillow… but everyone knows that. We call it the late night Munchies, or the late night anxiety blahhhssss….

I’m here to say, Don’t under estimate the power of the 3pm SLUMP!  Almost everyone feels it – Need not fear, Time will pass, it will be 5pm soon and everything’s gonna be all right, ok?! 

Do you feel the 3pm SLUMP on a regular too?

BLOGS, Coming Soon – Cardio INTERVAL Workouts!, Why keep a journal?, Wake-up bad talk, and much much more…. Oooohhh we’re just getting started! 🙂 🙂 🙂