Love & Respect…
Jessica and I got into a full-blown FIGHT today. Yes, Jessica and Lacey, the couple that has it all together got into a full blown yelling match. I mean… We like to call them “heated debates” but for all intents and purposes it was a fight :)
I’m a little embarrassed to be sharing the details of ‘The Battle at Chelsea’ BUT if there’s something you can gain from our unfortunate squabble it’s all worth it to us at SWEATCity! BRING IT
What’s a fight anyway? I think a fight can be a mix of these 3 relationship FireBALLS!
- CLASH of egos
- Searching for the balance of power
- Finding the way to speak the unspoken truth of what you’re feeling
For Jessica and I today it was a CLASH of EGOS! I’m big into horoscope signs… You know Cancer, Aquarius, Scorpio…? I think it gives you a benchmark to understanding your partner at their most raw state. I know what my negative tendencies are and I do everything in my power to curb them. Let me explain…
Jessica is a Taurus, according to her horoscope she’s as stubborn as they come. There’s no budging Jessica when she’s made up her mind… No sirrreeee. Being Stubborn is part of what a Taurus is all about. Jessica is conscious of this personality flaw and takes it into account in all her interactions. On a very real level she’s also English, very reserved… She does not like yelling and she rarely if ever raises her tone. I think she’s yelled at me 3 times over the course of our entire relationship.
I, LACEY, am an Aries According to my horoscope I have an explosive temper and I always like to have things my way… This is also a reality I’m very conscious of in all the decisions I make and the interactions I have. I am not reserved. I like it loud. In fact, I enjoy a good screaming match on occasion
Can you see how these two personality types might get a little messy?
Sooo here’s the situation. For the past five days The Clark-Stone Household has been SICK. I had a stomach Virus from Wednesday to Fridayish and Jessica inherited it from me late Friday into Today. Those are the facts… I was feeling a little fragile and so was she. Not the greatest ground to start on.
I woke-up on this lovely Sunday morning “kinda” ready to teach My Two HOUR Extravaganza workout. Kinda ready because I hadn’t worked out since last Wednesday. I really wanted Jessica to be there because I was feeling fragile and a little out of sorts. You can see my perspective, right? :)
As I was getting ready I could feel a little uneasiness in the apartment… I knew what was coming. Jessica in her lovely English accent said – “Would you be upset if I didn’t come to class this morning?”
OH PEOPLE… Lord forgive me for I have sinned! The Aries came out…. It wasn’t so much that I was mad at her. It was that I was mad that I had painted this lovely picture of her helping me get through the next two hours and frankly in that moment I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. It was a mix of my temper, my ego, EVERYTHING… I don’t even know what I said?
OUT of No where… ‘The Battle of Chelsea’ had begun!
Before I knew it the reserved English Rose began yelling at me in frequencies I could barely understand… Dogs on the streets were howling. Jessica’s tone shocked me back into reality… Frankly I was a little scared. OMG. For the woman that never raises her voice… This was… this was… WOW.
In that moment of her yelling I became very upset. Not upset that she was yelling at me, I was upset at the entire scenario. Upset at my childishness, at my stupid loss of temper, at my stubbornness…
You know what makes relationships work? How you stay together? Of course it’s about love, but another big part of the puzzle is respect. In that moment when Jessica raised her voice and did something so out of character for her… I was silenced. I had hurt her, I know her. She was doing something that she hates to do… Just so I could hear her. I wasn’t listening. It wasn’t about me and my class… It was about her being sick. She physically couldn’t do both classes. If I hadn’t been such a jerk… she said she would’ve come to the second hour but now it was an impossibility. She didn’t need to say it because I knew.
I let my pain, DUMB ego, and Aries bullheadedness get in the way. Fighting can be good because if you love someone you can learn soo much about yourself. You just need to back track and look in the mirror. After a deep breath and a look back, this fight was very one sided… It was very much about my BS and I take full responsibility. I could point fingers and say stupid stuff about Jessica… but the fact is that I love her and I don’t want to see her yelling. She is not a yeller, as much as I enjoy a good verbal altercation… Jessica does not and I RESPECT that.
When I came back from that 2 hour workout there were only three words I could think of to say to her… The words might not be strong enough… But the memories of today will stay with me forever. I will do my best to listen to her and respect her in the future.
I’m sorry Jessica.