Lacey and Jessica discuss how we as women choose to define ourselves within the LGBT community and to the wider world… And whether it is a desirable thing to do.
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Whether we want it to or not, sometimes relationships end. Lacey and Jessica discuss the best ways to handle the aftermath of a break-up and what works when we’re stuck with trying to move on.
Relationships can be awesome, but being single and out there on the scene has plenty of tricks and temptations all it’s own. Lacey and Jessica explore the other side of Lesbian Love, what to do when you’re single.
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http://www.afterellen.com/blog/trishbendix/video-lacey-jessica-lesbian-love-episode-8 
Moving in is a Tricking Topic for budding new relationships. In this episode Jessica and Lacey talk about the crucial steps that go into that all encompassing decision… Are we ready to move in together?
There is a strong gay theme in this episode, however many universal truths are uncovered as well… Enjoy!
We’re bbaccckkkk and better than ever! A HOT format and fresh NEW Topics… Jessica and I can’t wait to share the juice with you. Come November it’s on.
Here’s a FUN game Out of the above 5 people how many do you think are gay and how many do you think are straight (Strictly based on appearance… The answer is below)
*Gay Myths Exposed
Why is it that the popular consciousness seems to believe certain things about gay people and our relationships? Like the way a woman can be perfectly friendly and affectionate around me, that is before she realizes that I’m gay, then the second she finds out she feels the need to tell me all about her boyfriend, or how much she loves men, like I’m going to jump her if she doesn’t make that clear. That’s great, I’m happy for you, go men. It’s OK; I promise I wasn’t hitting on you. I’m with a woman I’m incredibly in love with, and honestly, even if I wasn’t, you’re not my type.
In the same way that heterosexuals don’t find themselves uncontrollably attracted to every man/woman who crosses their path, nor do the gays. I wish. It would have made being single a lot more fun
Another favorite of mine is the assumption that just because you happen to be gay, you’re automatically probably kinky as well. This is one myth that seems to be propagated as much inside the gay community as outside of it. Yes we’ve been together for two years; no we don’t have an open relationship. No, not even kissing. That seems to be surprising to a lot of people, gay and straight. It’s one thing to be flirty and social, it’s a whole other bag to bring in a third. Believe me I’m not knocking it in the slightest; everybody is more than welcome to their kicks. I’ll admit that it does seem to be a pit stop on the path to figuring out that we may be gay for a lot of people. But my point is that I don’t believe any of us would assume that a straight couple went in for threesomes on the basis that they’d (gasp) been together for two whole years.
Equally the ‘femme’ lesbian in the dress is no more or less likely to be less gay, or less assertive as the gay woman with short hair and muscles, who in turn is no more likely to know how to use power tools, or fix your car as the next person. Gay men are not all effeminate and theatrical, and the last to be picked at sports; if you believe that you should visit my gym just once
Being gay is not a ‘lifestyle choice’. There is more and more scientific evidence to show that it’s likely to do with the differing levels of hormones that a baby is exposed to in the womb. Meaning we were genuinely born this way and consequently it is a part of who we are on a fundamental level, it is not what defines us and how we choose to live our lives. If you’re heterosexual that doesn’t automatically determine how you think, or how you decorate your house. Whether you are black white, brown or purple that doesn’t mean for a second that you think and feel the same way as everybody else who has a matching skin tone right?
In the same way, us gays are as diverse and varied as anybody else; there are things that unite us; the fact that learning to accept that we romantically desire a person of the same sex and the fact that there can still be many societal obstacles to living and loving who we choose are two of the most significant. But there are gay Republicans as well as Democrats, and there are those of us that really just want to get married and have babies together and be just as ‘traditional’ as anybody else.
So while we’re flattered that you’d quite like to experience ‘swinging’, we are not the couple to do that with I can help you figure out how to put your furniture together though
The answer, drum roll pplleeaassee- 5 gay, 0 straight… Tricky, right?
Last Night Jessica and I went to a beautiful Gay Wedding. One of my Favorite Fitness Colleagues, Patricia Moreno, got hitched. The woman she married is from Brazil and they’re both BIG Dancers so you can only imagine the state of affairs, Dancin, Dancin, DANCIN!
As we often do at weddings… Post festivities I got to thinking about my future with Jessica; When is the BIOATCH is going to get on one knee, and how this beautiful creature came into my life?
Pre-Clark, I had sworn off Love… I said and I quote, “NO MORE Lovin for Lacey.” I decided I was going to be a 007 type of a character, A George Clooney of sorts! Very dramatic, I know… But I’d been hurt and I was OVER IT, ok? :) Deciding I didn’t need a relationship to be happy was a real turning point for me in my life.
It was at that time that I started to realize that society puts a lot pressure on people, especially women, to be in relationships. They make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you’re not paired up. Aaannd GOD FORBID you’re not married before 40. If you ask a lot of people it almost seems like it’s better to have been divorced then never married at all… What’s that sayin? I’m sorry but that’s BALONEY SANDWICHES!
The way relationships are viewed in American Society really bothers me… People would say to me a lot, you’re soo great why aren’t you in a relationship? YOU need to go out, you need to meet someone, BLAH! I would say, “Why do you think I need to be with someone? I don’t want to be in a relationship right now is that so strange?” People would look at me and be like… “uummmm, yeah?”
I made a conscious choice to go against the grain and fly solo, no relationships for me, NOPE, no siirreeeee, none! Those two and half years were some of the best years of my life… I found my career passion, I found out what I do and don’t like, and most importantly I found out I can be 100% happy and fulfilled without being with someone. I became a whole person in every single sense of the word. I didn’t need anyone to make me feel better about myself I found the strength inside me to do it alone. It made me feel so powerful. I really learned to love being single, strange I know?
It was around that time I shockingly realized I had a lot to offer?! That if I ever decided to get into a “real” relationship I wouldn’t be going into it to find something I’d be going into it to add something. I realized I had A LOT of love to give and I started to look forward to the possibility of some day meeting her… That “She” just might come into my life.
I developed a new confidence… a little swagger. I wasn’t searching out love I was just feeling it everywhere I went. You know the saying you get what you give? Well I was giving off llooovvvvee and I was getting it back BIG TIME. There was a lot of dating going on during that time in my life, lots of FUN times. AND my entire outlook on love changed. My clients would ask me why are you still single Lacey? And I would say… She’s coming. Because in my heart I knew she was.
Have you ever nursed yourself back from heartache to wholeness?
“So have you got a boyfriend?” This question invariably arises at some point in the afternoon of a shoot. This is after the many social conversations that everybody tends to have…”I’m going on vacation with my girlfriend”; “I’m moving in with my girlfriend”: “I’m a little stressed out because me and my girlfriend are both working so much we don’t get much time together right now”.
Do I have a boyfriend? “No…I have a GIRLFRIEND (the one I’ve been talking about all day!). I’m gay.
Pause. Silent appraisal. Slightly incredulous “Really?”
Yes really. Yes I’m a lesbian, gay, homosexual, queer. Not Straight.
To Straight men: Yes I mean gay, not bi-sexual. No I don’t need to try a ‘real man’ thank you; No you can’t join in; No you can’t watch. No I do NOT miss men. Ever. Yes, I really mean gay GAY.
To Straight women: Yes I used to date men as well; Yes I was always attracted to women…I would only play Drs and Nurses with girls…NEVER boys J; No it is definitely NOT “so much easier”, it’s not about being ‘over’ men and turning to a woman to feel better. We don’t just hold hands and play with each other’s hair…thank goodness! IF you’re gay then you are as emotionally and sexually vulnerable with a woman as a straight woman is with a man. These women can and sometimes do break your heart. No man could ever make me feel as alive, as excited, as loved, as satisfied or as scared as a woman has. For me, only a woman can crush me emotionally, or make me happier than I ever thought possible. Only a woman can truly have all of me: body and soul and heart and mind.
To Gay Men; Yes Lacey’s really hot and yes, we’re really happy! Look…here’s a picture J
To Lesbians: I am not a TOURIST. I am not a straight girl playing at being gay, not part of the lesbian-lite trend, this is not a fun game for me to entertain myself with before I “Go back to men”. I am not “confused” thank you. No I’m not a GoldStar, but neither are half of you and are any of you less gay for that reason? Lacey is not my first, second or third girlfriend (although she is definitely the most AMAZING J) Yes, I’m extremely feminine in the way that I dress. I know that I look a bit like a Barbie doll half of the time and yes, I probably would be taken more seriously as a gay woman if I changed my style. But you’ve never even had a conversation with me and you assume you know what I’m all about.
Isn’t the point of the struggle for EQUALITY for gay people at least partly to do with the human right to be who we truly authentically are? I could cut my hair and stop wearing dresses and high heels but that would be pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not asking you to be attracted to me as a femme…that’s either what you like or not, but it pisses me off that that is used as a reason not to take me, or all the other femmes seriously.
Surely the diversity of our culture is to be celebrated as a sign that more and more women feel freer to live the life we want; to love and desire whoever we want?
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