Last Night Jessica and I went to a beautiful Gay Wedding. One of my Favorite Fitness Colleagues, Patricia Moreno, got hitched. The woman she married is from Brazil and they’re both BIG Dancers so you can only imagine the state of affairs, Dancin, Dancin, DANCIN!
As we often do at weddings… Post festivities I got to thinking about my future with Jessica; When is the BIOATCH is going to get on one knee, and how this beautiful creature came into my life?
Pre-Clark, I had sworn off Love… I said and I quote, “NO MORE Lovin for Lacey.” I decided I was going to be a 007 type of a character, A George Clooney of sorts! Very dramatic, I know… But I’d been hurt and I was OVER IT, ok? :) Deciding I didn’t need a relationship to be happy was a real turning point for me in my life.
It was at that time that I started to realize that society puts a lot pressure on people, especially women, to be in relationships. They make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you’re not paired up. Aaannd GOD FORBID you’re not married before 40. If you ask a lot of people it almost seems like it’s better to have been divorced then never married at all… What’s that sayin? I’m sorry but that’s BALONEY SANDWICHES!
The way relationships are viewed in American Society really bothers me… People would say to me a lot, you’re soo great why aren’t you in a relationship? YOU need to go out, you need to meet someone, BLAH! I would say, “Why do you think I need to be with someone? I don’t want to be in a relationship right now is that so strange?” People would look at me and be like… “uummmm, yeah?”
I made a conscious choice to go against the grain and fly solo, no relationships for me, NOPE, no siirreeeee, none! Those two and half years were some of the best years of my life… I found my career passion, I found out what I do and don’t like, and most importantly I found out I can be 100% happy and fulfilled without being with someone. I became a whole person in every single sense of the word. I didn’t need anyone to make me feel better about myself I found the strength inside me to do it alone. It made me feel so powerful. I really learned to love being single, strange I know?
It was around that time I shockingly realized I had a lot to offer?! That if I ever decided to get into a “real” relationship I wouldn’t be going into it to find something I’d be going into it to add something. I realized I had A LOT of love to give and I started to look forward to the possibility of some day meeting her… That “She” just might come into my life.
I developed a new confidence… a little swagger. I wasn’t searching out love I was just feeling it everywhere I went. You know the saying you get what you give? Well I was giving off llooovvvvee and I was getting it back BIG TIME. There was a lot of dating going on during that time in my life, lots of FUN times. AND my entire outlook on love changed. My clients would ask me why are you still single Lacey? And I would say… She’s coming. Because in my heart I knew she was.
Have you ever nursed yourself back from heartache to wholeness?