She’s Coming…

Last Night Jessica and I went to a beautiful Gay Wedding. One of my Favorite Fitness Colleagues, Patricia Moreno, got hitched.  The woman she married is from Brazil and they’re both BIG Dancers so you can only imagine the state of affairs, Dancin, Dancin, DANCIN!

As we often do at weddings… Post festivities I got to thinking about my future with Jessica; When is the BIOATCH is going to get on one knee, and how this beautiful creature came into my life?

Pre-Clark, I had sworn off Love… I said and I quote, “NO MORE Lovin for Lacey.”  I decided I was going to be a 007 type of a character, A George Clooney of sorts!  Very dramatic, I know… But I’d been hurt and I was OVER IT, ok?  :)  Deciding I didn’t need a relationship to be happy was a real turning point for me in my life.

It was at that time that I started to realize that society puts a lot pressure on people, especially women, to be in relationships. They make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you’re not paired up.  Aaannd GOD FORBID you’re not married before 40. If you ask a lot of people it almost seems like it’s better to have been divorced then never married at all… What’s that sayin? I’m sorry but that’s BALONEY SANDWICHES!

The way relationships are viewed in American Society really bothers me… People would say to me a lot, you’re soo great why aren’t you in a relationship? YOU need to go out, you need to meet someone, BLAH! I would say, “Why do you think I need to be with someone? I don’t want to be in a relationship right now is that so strange?”  People would look at me and be like… “uummmm, yeah?”

I made a conscious choice to go against the grain and fly solo, no relationships for me, NOPE, no siirreeeee, none!  Those two and half years were some of the best years of my life… I found my career passion, I found out what I do and don’t like, and most importantly I found out I can be 100% happy and fulfilled without being with someone. I became a whole person in every single sense of the word. I didn’t need anyone to make me feel better about myself I found the strength inside me to do it alone.  It made me feel so powerful.  I really learned to love being single, strange I know?

It was around that time I shockingly realized I had a lot to offer?! That if I ever decided to get into a “real” relationship I wouldn’t be going into it to find something I’d be going into it to add something.  I realized I had A LOT of love to give and I started to look forward to the possibility of some day meeting her… That “She” just might come into my life. 

I developed a new confidence… a little swagger.  I wasn’t searching out love I was just feeling it everywhere I went.  You know the saying you get what you give?  Well I was  giving off  llooovvvvee and I was getting it back BIG TIME.  There was a lot of dating going on during that time in my life, lots of FUN times.  AND my entire outlook on love changed.  My clients would ask me why are you still single Lacey? And I would say… She’s coming.  Because in my heart I knew she was.

Have you ever nursed yourself back from heartache to wholeness?

Reader’s Questions; ALCOHOL?

So can alcohol be part of a healthy and fit lifestyle? 

Well, yes…and no.  It depends on what kind of alcohol you’re talking about, the quantity and the frequency with which you consume it.  There’s a lot of evidence to suggest that one glass of red wine about two nights a week can actually be very beneficial to your long-term heart health due to its high antioxidant content.  Unfortunately that benefit does not increase the more you drink. Quite the opposite, once you’re into your third glass those antioxidant benefits are cancelled out by the negative effects of alcohol, the toxins force our organs, the liver in particular to work overtime to remove them from our bodies.  So while a glass is good, a half bottle is definitely not better . 

Calorie wise there’s a vast difference too.  A vodka and soda is the most waistline friendly, while the sweet, sugary cocktails like Daquaris, Mojitos, frozen Margaritas and the like, pack a such a GIANT calorie punch that will make your body wish you’d just ordered the little chocolate mousse for dessert.  Except that if you’re drinking those…well you’re probably already eating that too….oh wait, and you ate TWO giant baskets of chips and dip while you were waiting for your food…….then there’s that tub of Hagen Daaz calling to you from the deli on your walk home….

And that right there illustrates the two major issues that I see and have experienced with drinking alcohol regularly. 

Alcohol (as many of us have experienced after a rather ill-advised make out session somewhere in our histories) has the interesting effect of removing our inhibitions.  Now that can be quite entertaining….a delightful rendition of Celine Dion’s “My heart will go on” at the local karaoke anybody? It can be sexy (or just embarrassing depending on who you hooked up with and how publicly you did it!), and it can result in you ordering the Deep-pan, Cheese-crust, Super-sized, Meat Feast Pizza, extra pepperoni, extra cheese, when you had meant to get the salmon salad.  Yeah… going to take more than an extra ten minutes on the treadmill that one.  Because it’s not just the calories of the alcohol that need to be considered, but the calories of the different types of food we’re ALL rather more susceptible too at those times.  Don’t think I’m immune. Far from it……if anything, it’s the fact that I know how sensitive I am to it that makes me so disciplined.

Alcohol is what’s known as a simple sugar when it’s absorbed into the body, meaning that the body reacts to it as though it were candy: pure sugar.  This sets up a cycle of craving, as the body rushes to release insulin to control the sugar overload in our system, which then sends our blood sugar levels crashing down, which makes us crave MORE sugar to bring it back up again. Not helpful for our healthful food plans.  Not only that but all those calories are nutritionally empty. They do nothing good for our body, sadly.  Alcohol also acts as a depressant on our nervous system, so while it can (and does!) make us feel good and sparkly in the short-term that often backfires on us if we’re self-medicating to escape our emotions. 

So do Lacey and I drink?  Yes, VERY occasionally (maybe at a friends wedding, or a celebratory meal), but we both think of ourselves as basically non-drinkers because it is such a rarity.  We had both independently decided prior to meeting each other that regularly drinking alcohol was not something we wanted for ourselves.  I come from a background of substance and food abuse, and didn’t drink alcohol at all for over 3 years to ensure that it didn’t serve as a ‘gateway drug’ for me….. Meaning that my becoming less inhibited could result in me looking for drugs not just a pizza.  In that time, as hard as it was to begin with, I genuinely learnt how to enjoy myself without alcohol. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be ‘fun’, or ‘sexy’ or whatever I associated me being wasted with, but in fact I learnt that I can be those things just by being me (ok, not all the time, but at least when I’ve got my mojo  ).  I like feeling in control of my life and my body and I love knowing that I don’t need it to have a good time.

For Lacey, it came down to wanting to treat her body as well as she wanted her clients to treat theirs, to live authentically as a fitness professional….and to be the most productive; because it is amazing how much more you get done, and get to ENJOY when the weekend isn’t spent recovering from Friday night!  And finally, the empty calories….well, we BOTH hate them as you probably know if you read this blog regularly!!

FINALLY if you ARE going to drink, always eat something sensible first: please PLEASE don’t ‘save’ up your daily calories to use on alcohol…. I’ve heard it being called “drunkorexia” and it scares me.  All that’s going to do is see you outrageously drunk and probably more than a little sick!  Have a food with some complex carbs…some brown rice, or if you’re headed out from the office, at least a banana and some nuts.  It’ll help your body handle the alcohol and hopefully reduce the chances of you bingeing on KFC a few hours later, or puking or both.  Also try alternating every drink with a water, or soda and lime. Nobody will notice but your liver and your hangover free head will definitely thank you for it.  A hangover is basically caused by dehydration, so drink water throughout the evening and when you get home at night. 

I’m sure everybody reading has different hangover cures, but honestly…that’s not really what I want to promote. Drinking alcohol is a very personal choice; it depends on what our goals are for ourselves; depends on WHY someone wants to drink and the way in which they do it.

It’s definitely a prominent part of many people’s social/work lives and I am not here to judge. I honestly believe that alcohol can be incorporated into a healthy lifestyle if in MODERATION (that buzzword that’s thrown around so much). But speaking for myself, I am much happier and feel much healthier without it, and that’s my truth.

What are your thoughts on including alcohol in a healthful lifestyle?

 

 

Do You listen to MUSIC when you Workout?

Do you listen to music when you workout? 

 

MUSIC is HUGE in my life!  Before I teach class in New York City I spend H-O-U-R-S searching out the best tunes around aannnddd I LOVE to serenade Jessica by half-lip sinking/half singing to ridiculous love songs, HA! Goofball, I know!

For me it’s such a rush when I find music that gets people excited about working out!  When I get to see the smiles on people’s faces and the sweat dripping from their brows… There’s nothing better…  I LOVE IT!

As a seasoned workout master I’m here to tell You the music you choose to workout with has a huge impact on your level of performance.

Have you ever been completely exhausted or kinda sad and SNAP out of it in an instant because your favorite song came on the radio?  The song didn’t solve your exhaustion but for a moment it definitely lifted your spirits, right? I know for a fact that Music not only has a physical impact on our bodies but it also has a mental impact on our spirits… The Impact can be conscious or unconscious… Do you guys agree?

Jessica and I love to use music as a tool to lift our moods and keep us smiling!  I’ve been in a completely awful mood and once I turn on MJB Da MVP by Mary J. Blige… I know everything’s gonna be ok.  I listen to it regularly, I use the song to change my state of mind and it works! When I stop for a moment and listen to the song I realize that everything really is ok   Music has a veerrry strong effect on me… Do you have any songs you listen to that lift your spirit or touch your soul?

I don’t care whom the artist or what the song is, if the music is able to create a positive feeling in people it’s worth a listening to. I truly believe that good music makes a difference in the world one song at a time. 

I’m a mmmaaajjjooorrrr ADVOCATE of music that carries a positive message… The song doesn’t need it to be as obvious as Natasha Bedingfield’s a Pocketful of Sunshine or Wilson Philips Hold On… It can be a little less in your face like Dance 2nite (Wayne G Mix) by Madonna. For me lyrics are HUGE.  I like to listen to music that only carries positive messages AND I d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y only teach my classes with that style of music.

Why? Because I often find myself singing the words of the songs from my classes over and over again during the day…  If the words/lyrics carry a positive message it’s almost like creating my own weekly positive affirmations.  If you listen to the words to a lot of great songs the basic message is “Anything’s possible if you believe,” in terms of love and life.  I also like this music because it creates feelings and an environment of positivity… Many times after class someone will say, “Lacey! I love your classes they make me feel so energized, and I always seem to feel aammazzingg after them!” I truly believe that feeling has a LARGE part to do with the type of music I pick.

ITUNES – is the GREATEST invention EVER!!!  Before Itunes I use to have to go to a CD store and listen to music for hours, BUT now all I have to do is run searches on the ITunes interface. AMAZING…  You can go from one genre to the next in seconds.

When creating a workout playlist, although I do love a little hiphop aaannndddddd I’ve been known to bust out a little Frank Sinatra with the lovely Ms Clark…  HEY IT’s ROMANTIC!  I think it’s best to keep to music that has a fast beat… The faster the music the faster you move. YOUR body will naturally adjust to the beat of what you’re listening to… Faster tunes increase your pace and increase your results!

This is why people who take Yoga don’t listen to Rihanna; Take a Bow- Dance Remixes during class, but rather Buddha Bar VII, Breathe –easy listening.  Music sets the scene; it creates a feeling of relaxation or PARTY PEOPLE!

 

I know some of you guys get annoyed that lately a lot of songs are getting remixed to a faster beat…  Some of my clients say… “Why are they ruining the music?!” In my opinion the record companies are giving slower songs an opportunity to be worked out too at a faster pace. I personally LOVE IT!  Without the remix, “No One” by Alicia Keys would just be a slow song at a prom dance.  LONG LIVE the REMIX!

That said I’m going to hit YOU up with you my Top Ten Favorite Workout Songs of 2008! All available on ITUNES… And if you’re looking for some more GREAT music join my Lacey Stone Fitness Mailing List at www.laceystonefitness.com I send out 10 new goodies every month!

It was HARD… But here’s the list!

 1. Forever – Chris Brown

2. Closer – Ne-yo

3. Take a Bow (Tony Moran & Warren Riggs Encore Club) - Rihanna           

4. Touch My Body (Seamus Haji Mix) - Mariah Carey                                   

5. 4 Minutes (feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland) – Madonna           

6. Viva La Vida – Coldplay

7. No Air (Dance Remix) – Jordin Sparks Ft. Chris Brown           

8. Work (Steve Pitron & Max Sanna Radio Edit) – Kelly Rowland           

9. The Right Life (Tiesto Remix) – Seal           

10. What Hurts The Most (Spencer & Hill Remix) – Cascada           

Let me know what you think about Music and tell me some of your favorite songs, ok?

 

I’ll pop your FAVs in my classes!  AND, drum roll pplleeassseee… In 2009 I’m launching PlayList! It will be a great new website where you can find GREAT workout music ALL THE TIME… sswweeetttt!

 

 

 

 

What do you really want?

Do you know what you want? It sounds like an obvious question, but is it…?

A couple of weeks ago my client asked me tht exact question in regards to my personal finances… I found myself speechless- There was SILENCE.

When my client asked me about the money stuff I got nervous, a little irritated, aaannddd I felt myself wanting to change the subject immediately.  I think unconsciously I’m afraid of what I need to do in order to get my financial portfolio in order.  Money Management/ IRA/ Roth/ Sep/ Mutual Funds/ Stocks/ 401k/ keeping receipts, aaaAAHHHH!!!  Just writing this all down creates anxiety in me

Money stuff is my weakest link…  However after I talked to my client I did a lot of thinking and I found a strong correlation between ”MONEY” & “FITNESS.”  I realized that the way I responded to my client in regards to money is the exact same way my personal training clients respond to me in regards to their fitness.

Here’s My Take – For my client, understanding money is something that comes naturally to him. Money is to him what Fitness is to me. He’s very calm about it, he knows exactly what to do to get the job done, he’s been working with it his entire life, annndd most importantly he loves it! That’s when I had, as Oprah would say,  an AHA! Moment

Tell me if you agree with this, ok?

I’m a FIRM believer that all of you are good at something.  YOU know how to get the job done WELL in one area of your life;  you’re an All Star.  I bet if you apply the same rules you use to be successful in that area of your life to your Fitness Routine you’ll see amazing LASTING Results.  Why?  Because using your own personal blue print to get results will aallllwwaaayyysss be better than following someone else’s plan.  If it’s true to you it’ll work, guaranteed.

Lets say you’re very good in Relationships, Friendships, or Your Job… Simply apply those success principles to your Fitness.  If you’ve found “Success” in one those areas of your life you then know that the results were not something that happened over night.  It takes time to accomplish greatness.  If you know this you also know that once you establish your own personal system for success it naturally becomes a part of who you are.  Accomplishments in the areas of your life you feel confident in are easy and fun because they’re innate; they’re a part of you, right?

Here’s an Example:  Lets say your Strength/What you’re good at is your Job.

One Stormy day there’s a catastrophe at work.  You made a HUGE error in judgement… You messed up Big Time!  How would you respond?  Would you say – “Forget it, I quit I’m not going in to work anymore, I give up!”

No way! You’d take as little time as possible to worry about the issue and instead correct the error as quickly as possible.  Then you’d move onto your next accomplishment, Bring It! Am I right?

It’s simple.  Apply that same discipline to your fitness routine.  When you miss a day at the gym, drink too much, or eat a piece of cake are you going to let that stop you from reaching your goals???  HELL NO!!! Make that the motivation that gets you to put the pieces back together as quickly as possible and move on.  The shorter the Pity Party the faster the results, period.  I don’t mean to be harsh but the way I hear people talk when they eat a cupcake gets a little out of control.  YOU are not a bad person; you only ate a cupcake.  Perspective is key.  Keep your goals at the forefront of your mind and take the necessary steps every single day to get what you want.  If you do this, you’ll get there.

There’ll be some sacrifices…  It’s not going to be a Disney Land Fairy Tale, pretty present with a bow on top, ice cream sundae deal, BUT it will be amazing.  Here’s my little Zen moment that I believe in 100%. Take it or leave it amigos!

The journey to your goals is YOUR LIFE. If you want a “happy ending” it’s up to you and only you.  Sooooo make the journey memorable, live it up!  There will be highs and lows but if you stick to the game plan, if you’re clear in knowing what you want, aaannddd YOU know in your heart you’re taking all the neccessary steps to get it’s going to happen… It’s happening!

Do you think I’m cuckoo for coco-puffs?  Do you think the way you’ve found success in other areas of your life can help you get the body of your dreams???

In a future blog I’m going to break down how my Fitness Strength applies to my workout routine and how it’s working in all the other areas of my life too.  I apply the same principles of success to my relationship with Jessica, Friendships, and my job. It works for me  annddd maybe some of the stuff I’ve learned will work for you too?

Reader’s Questions; Protein Shakes?

If you read this blog regularly hopefully you’ve been able to see just how much we love readers participation through feedback and questions.  So here are my thoughts on one of the subjects that a few of you have asked about recently

How do we feel about the ‘necessity’ of a post-workout protein drink?

Do we drink protein drinks after a workout?  The short answer is no. Not before during or after in fact. I am of the firm belief that we should try to get as much of our nutrition from REAL FOOD as is possible.  That is food naturally present in nature.  Does it grow in the soil, hang from a tree, or swim in the sea? Then I’m all for eating it! Is it synthetic? Has it got ingredients that I can’t spell or pronounce?  Then I avoid it as much as possible.  Holistically all the evidence points to the body being able to best metabolize foods with all their complex components intact.  An isolated, synthetic protein powder does not fit that description. 

Efficient metabolism means less toxins accumulating in the body and the energy contained in food being used appropriately.  Which means less fat on my body. That’s what I’m talking about folks….I don’t know about you!  There is also so much more satisfaction gained from sitting and eating a real meal, your brain recognizes that it is happening and so you are much more likely to still feel satisfied and full an hour later. 

Speaking as someone who likes and needs to be slender I see protein drinks as unnecessary calories that just don’t give me enough bang for my buck.   They’re loaded with calories, nutritionally unbalanced (where are my greens, essential fats and fiber?) and quite simply don’t fill me up for very long.  This last factor is key because unless you’re specifically looking to GAIN weight these drinks should be seen as a meal REPLACEMENT not as a snack.  A snack should be 150-200 calories.  These things rarely come in under 500 and can go as high as 1000. Yep…. That’s in just one cup. No thank you. I don’t drink Frappacino’s in Starbucks ether, because honestly I don’t see the two products as that different!

I also hear protein drinks being touted as a post-workout ‘recovery’ tool.  Uuuumm, I hate to break it to you but unless you’re training for an Ultra-Marathon (and even then you’d need extra carbs NOT protein) your body doesn’t need any shakes to recover. Your body WANTS to move, it’s DESIGNED to move.  Working it out was probably the best thing you’ve done for it in a while. It doesn’t need a ‘food bandage’ to make its exercise boo-boo better! You’re tired? Good! You’ll sleep well tonight then

Lastly, the only real support of a post-workout protein shake is if you’re looking to gain muscle. BUT even then, I’m talking if you want to be the next Mr or Ms Universe.  And if that’s the case you’re definitely living on skinned chicken breast, protein shakes and egg whites, working out for 8 hours a day and probably reading a different kind of a blog .  Lacey is pure lean, cut muscle and she gets all the protein she needs from REAL food.  Because if you want those beautiful muscles to show then they just CAN’T be buried under a layer of fat…. Which is what happens if you consume too many calories….. And if you suck down a shake straight after your workout and then head home to dinner you’re talking calorie overload.  It’s sad but true.

If you’re ravenous and need a SNACK post-workout then that’s definitely normal and can be appropriate.  What do I eat?  A small bag of RAW almonds, a couple of hard-boiled eggs, a soy yoghurt with an apple. You get the picture

I hope that answers the questions we’ve received concerning this.  Just so you know we’re thinking of creating a regular blog spot to a Reader’s Question segment. What do you think about that?  Is that something you think you’d like to see. We want to please all you wonderful people!!

Next one to be answered will be on whether ALCOHOL can have it’s place in a healthy and fit life?

 

  

How I Handle Separation

Jessica’s Gone… Again

Here I am sitting alone on the weekend…  Wondering why I’m in love with an international model that’s always getting on planes and saying goodbye. Lately it seems like she’s saying goodbye more than hello….  aaannnddd then I start to giggle because I repeat the sentence “I’m in love with an international model,” Hahahahahaha!

Oohhhh Man, I wanted to write a workout blog tonight but I can’t seem to focus on anything other than the lovely Ms. Clark… Cliché, I know.

Sooo, here’s what I’m going to blog about- How to deal with separation from a loved one.  Bare with me now… I’m learning the art of mastering the skill as we speak, I’m by no means a professional, however if I stick with Ms Clark (which I plan on doing… Don’t get any funny ideas  ) I better get dam good at this. The woman is out of the country almost two weeks every month.

LACEY’S 8 TIPS TO RELATIONSHIP SEPARATION (when her gut reaction is to fall apart)

1.    HAVE YOUR OWN THING

For me my Job is the thing that saves me. I found something I really love doing, fitness –  www.laceystonefitness.com . This makes it easier when Jessica goes away because I don’t feel like my life is completely put on hold while she’s living hers.

Many of my past relationships failed because I put so much pressure on the other person.  When I look back on past relationships it’s clear that a lot of the time I lived vicariously through my girlfriend rather than having my own “Thing.” I find that having my own “Thing” gives me confidence and is my angel when Jessica’s away… AND I’m 100% certain if I didn’t have my own thing this relationship would not work long term.

2.    SCHEDULE, schedule, schedule!

When Jessica goes away I make sure my schedule is jam packed with activities that keep my mind going.  I make business meetings at night when I would normally be meeting up with Jessica.  I call friends that I’ve been MIA with and reconnect… I run errands, I call my mom a lot, and I pick up that book that’s starting to collect dust. Stay busy!

3.    SURPRISES

When I really start to miss her I figure out some sort of surprise.  Theatre tickets, rose petal messages, gifts waiting in her hotel room, silly stuff… Last Halloween I carved her a pumpkin that said, “I love you.” I enjoy creating moments that are meaningful… Memories.  In my opinion romantic ideas don’t have to be expensive but they do have to be creative. 

I tend to talk to my clients, friends, and people about romantic things that happened to them.  I think about what I would like someone to do for me and then I decide if that’s something Jessica would like.  Believe it or not she doesn’t like expensive gifts, she likes gifts that are meaningful.  Soooo, I listen to her all the time… Those are the best gifts, the gifts I come up with when she mentions something silly in passing; She loves sliced oranges, bubbles, pillows, doggies, the color purple… 

4.    KEEP IT TOGETHER

When Jessica leaves for 15days it SUCKS… I gotta be honest.  At the same time, she doesn’t want to be gone that long either.  It stinks for her too.  So I need to be strong for both of us.  If I’m not strong it makes it hard for her to do her job.  If I complain about her leaving all the time then she feels bad every time she gets a big job…  Feeling bad creates resentment and resentment creates something I don’t want to deal with.  Resentment leads to a lot of pain/frustrations/reasons for break-ups…  NOT a good place.  So I gotta keep it together… If her leaving hurts a lot I need to call mom, talk to friends, pay a therapist, but I don’t think it’s smart to put pressure on her because she already feels the pressure. She doesn’t want to be away, it’s killing her too. Of course, I can’t hide stuff… then I build resentment…  Communication is key.  If it starts to bother me to much that she’s away all the time I need to tell her. HOWEVER I think it’s important that I do try to work it out myself first.  I think it’s vital to keep it together not only for me, but also for us.

5.    LIVE NOW

I consciously train my brain to not run wild… I train it to stay out of catastrophe mode.  I find this to be the most difficult AND the most effective way to handle separation. 

What do I mean?? Here’s an example… I’m walking down the street and my mind starts to run away from me (YOU know that little voice in your head) “Jessica’s gone, this is impossible, how am I going to handle this… This week is going to stink… I have a wedding to go to on Saturday and now I’m going alone, I hate this… what am I going to do tonight, crap if only Jessica were here… AND on AND on AND on.” 

The BS that comes out of my head is endless and can be fairly destructive if I listen.  When Jessica goes away I try to be extremely aware of my thoughts and if a SUPER Negative thought won’t leave me I break it down so that I can find the positive twist on it.  Believe it or not there are two sides to every thought. Your outlook on your thoughts is based on how you choose to react to them.  The only real power we have as human beings is to decide how we’re going to handle situations, that is what differentiates us from other all species…  We have the choice to love, to hate, to laugh (no other species can laugh), to cry.

I’m getting a bit off track, Sorry.  It’s just that I find #5 to be huge and never underestimated.  I get asked a lot why I’m so positive… Honestly, I’ve been very negative in my life and it’s not a fun way to live.  Every Single Day I make a conscious choice to be the best version of myself, to be as positive in life as possible… I believe if everyone could find a way to be positive the world would be such a better place.  It’s easy to be negative about things… But being strong enough to find the positive in everything makes you a real survivor.   If you can find a way to smile through the pain you can handle anything. Live now!

6. ICHAT, PHONE, TEXT

Jessica and I have ICHAT DATES several times over the course of her many travels.  We get to see each other and chat as if she’s just in the other room   We are known to leave Ichat on for hours.

PHONE – I call her and leave her silly messages just to hear her voicemail.  GOD we are kind of ridiculous, eh?

TEXT – Annnddd the text message, I love to text her throughout the day telling her what I’m up to. I’m a bit of a texting BANDIT!  Often times we are in different time zones so if I say… “On my way to Equinox to BRING IT in TheBigGAME!!!,” she can know exactly what street I’m on and feel exactly what I’m feeling… It’s nice.

7.    FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE

Trust me, it could always be worse.  I try to focus on what I have.  When I start to focus on what I don’t have it ALWAYS makes me angry guaranteed. 

EXAMPLES - When I get sad that Jessica’s away…

1. I could focus on how terrible I feel or I could focus on the fact that I have someone to miss. 

2. I could be upset that her job takes her away from me sooo much or I could focus on the fact that when she’s in New York her job gives her the freedom to see me whenever she wants.

This tactic is not dissimilar to #5, but sometimes it helps to make a list to make you feel better…Write out your thoughts and fight the fear and anger on paper. YOU can apply these tips to Work, Fitness, Family, whatever.  I find in Fitness often times people get caught up in what they don’t have instead of focusing on what they do have… if they don’t feel good immediately than something must be wrong? WRONG! Strength, growth, wisdom, weight-loss, love… They all take time, it takes courage to build a solid foundation in the prominent areas of your life.  I find that when I focus on the journey rather than the destination I am much Happier and more centered.

8.   GET ON A PLANE

Worst-case scenario… I can’t take it anymore! I fork over the doe, hop on a plane and say, “Heeyyyy Jessica, I’m comin to get YOU!”

How do you handle being separated from a loved one… It hurts right?! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Reasons to Workout TODAY.

Because 10 reasons would just be sooooo predictable

1. Getting your sweat on helps the brain deal with almost anything; it releases those feel-good endorphins that make you happy. Get out those frustrations, vent any anger you might have, release any sadness you’re carrying for just 45 minutes to an hour and you won’t regret it.

2. Try to see it not as a chore, which you hate but will do begrudgingly, but as a gift to yourself. Some YOU time where the focus is you, and only you. No colleagues trying to get your attention, no kids, no boyfriends/girlfriends/husband/wives.

3. See it as a gift to above mentioned; guaranteed by the time you get to work, or home after the gym you’ll feel a whole lot more empowered, relaxed, sexy, strong and just generally kick ass.  Which means you’ll be nicer, much more productive and the ‘you’ they all want to be around (if you feel like letting them….hehe)

4. You won’t be as tempted by those donuts in the office or by that greasy Chinese takeout when you just worked out.  Waste all that energy only to put those calories straight back on?  I don’t think so. That’ll be the sushi and miso soup for dinner please .

5. Because it’s easy to stay motivated when it’s summertime and bikinis are on the horizon.  It’s a whole different playing field come the Fall…. But just as well you are NOT one of the herd, by continuing to workout you’ll be all slinky and ahead of the curve when the holiday parties start in a few months!

6. It’s an amazing feeling to feel strong, centered and to know what your body is capable of. To know that you might be a more curvalicious creature than your skinny friends but you know who can hold it down running for the bus…and it’s not them! Or that if you’re a little thing, you can know that’s it’s a LOT harder to push you around than they think. Yep…I can lift my own suitcases thank you (and I pack a surprisingly hard right-hook…don’t mess). Try not to look too surprised !

7. Because it’s a fun and totally justifiable reason to buy a hot new workout outfit…having your body look slammin’ is a GREAT motivation to keep those workouts coming full throttle.

8. And finally: because the gym/running club/hiking group or whatever is full of people like you who are trying to give their bodies and brains their best.  Because when changing direction for the better in life, it is always SO much easier and more fun to build a new support group of likeminded friends that get and share your goals. And just as a side note… if you’re single it’s often a perfect way to meet someone you may be compatible with. You never know… the boy or girl on the treadmill that you smile whenever you happen to make eye contact might just be harboring a secret crush. If you’re AT the gym you’ll give them the opportunity to jump off the treadmill and ask you out for coffee.  No joke… that is the story of how Jessica asked out Lacey.  Aaawwwwhhh .

 

Work Travel; How to stay ON the fitness wagon.

“I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again….”

Here’s how I survive work travel without completely falling of the fitness/nutrition wagon.

Airports: Try never to go to the airport hungry (the same goes for grocery shopping fyi).  The food temptations are OVERWHELMING: Dunkin Donuts next to Pizza Hut Express, right down the gate from McDonalds and the list goes on and on.  It’s easier (I didn’t say easy ) to resist if your stomach isn’t already growling.  Hopefully there’s been time to eat a decent meal before I get to JFK but if not I try and locate a half decent salad somewhere, some low fat yoghurts/string cheese, some raw almonds.

Lots of water….you want to stay as hydrated as possible once on the plane and the Cabin Crew rarely hand around enough to do the trick. Have a couple of bottles with you…. Not only will it help prevent that puffy feeling in your face and legs, it will help curb the junk food cravings if you’re susceptible, which I am when tired, fed up and surrounded on all sides.

I mentioned raw almonds….I try to have some in my bag at all times (traveling or not), they’re a great source of clean protein, fiber, Vitamin E etc.  Also, although I prefer to try and eat whole food as much as possible, I do often have a couple of GREENS Protein bars in my bag for flights. They’re cold processed, alkaline, raw food bars with none of the unpronounceable ingredients found in so many of the other food bars on the market.  I personally never eat fruit before or during a plane journey. It bloats me beyond once I’m in the air and that’s an awful feeling to have on a long haul flight.

Hotel: I call ahead and ask them to empty the mini-bar before I even arrive.  Too much temptation for lonely midnight munchies…I’m not THAT disciplined people .  Often I ask for a bowl of apples and oranges (uncut) to be put in my room instead….it doesn’t cost nearly as much (for my wallet or waistline) as an impulse late night binge on mini-bar Twix bars and Pringles!! When I check in I ask if there’s a gym in the hotel or close by, and for any jogging/running maps of the area. A large number of hotels all around the world carry these now…they’re GENIUS.  Some even have I-pods that you can borrow for the run (if you want to get down with some bizarre tastes in music ).

And no…I’m not kidding, I really do all of this and you might be surprised how normal it is for the hotel staff. They don’t bat an eyelid.

I’m a morning workout girl….especially when traveling because I get so tired and my work day is so unpredictable that if I wait until the evening it might never happen.  So once I’ve got to my room I immediately check my schedule to find out how early I have to get up to get in my workout.  Then before I have a chance to change my mind I call the front desk and set the Hotel Wake-Up Call 3 times. Yep, count them….1,2,3! Once for 10 minutes before I have to get up (if I’m jetlagged I need a little adjustment time), once on the dot of when I’m supposed to be up, and the third time just one minute after that. I also set my Blackberry alarm and put it on the other side of the room so I have to get up to turn it off.  I hate my life for just a second when they all go off the next morning but once I’m up and on the move I’m always SO glad I made myself do it .

All the other workout tips apply here too…have your gym kit out and ready to go by the side of the bed, have a water bottle, a banana, or half a food bar right there.  Sometimes it helps to write a big bold sign and stick it right by the bed….or on the hotel TV… something like….NO EXCUSES JESSICA (although if your name’s not Jessica that might be a little weird lol).

Jet-lag is not easy, getting out of bed is NOT easy but you know what?  There’s nothing that gets my body clock adjusted and my brain feeling alive than a good sweaty workout.  Because otherwise I’m headed to work still sleepy and befuddled and that’s not I how I like to do things .   Another thing…tell everybody at the conference/managers meeting/photo shoot etc that you’re super disciplined and work out every morning (or evening if that’s more your thing). It’s really hard to skulk into work without having done it when they have such high expectations. People will actually ask me if I did it (like they can’t believe its possible!)….and often there’s at least one other person looking for some added motivation who’ll offer to get up early and workout with you.  It happens A LOT believe me and really can help. I’ve worked out with salespeople, IT people and Dentists (there was a dental conference in the hotel…go figure!).

And I have to tell you…the hotel staff  LOVE IT when they get these entertaining (to them) workout types.  You might feel silly or embarrassed but if you’re nice and sweet to them, all it means is that they get to know you really quickly and are much happier to accommodate any random requests you might have (like ‘weird’ ie healthy food requests etc). But if you’re embarrassed to ask for modifications on your meal it’s often easier to say that you’re allergic to dairy (if you want no butter/cheese etc) than just saying “I don’t like it” there’s just much less resistance/raised eyebrows that way . I also ask the hotel if there are any healthy restaurants in the neighborhood that I can go to at night instead of being limited to the refined carb heavy hotel menus

Last but most certainly never least: How do Lacey and I manage to feel as though we still have a relationship even though we’re frequently separated by thousands of miles?  Well we both have Macs so we have inbuilt I-chat. Either this or Skype (works on PC or Mac) is ESSENTIAL for frequent travelers and those who love us.  Download the program now if you’re uninitiated.  It’s free or very low cost wherever in the world you are and provided you have a decent Internet connection you can see and speak to your person or best friend or mom whenever you need to.  I’m not going to lie, sometimes that gets me through a rough day on the road. We’ve even been known to both have our I-chat windows open while we’re working, reading or taking a bath…just so we can feel like we’re in the same place for a while. It helps. A lot.

I’ve been flying for 10 years and through trial and error I find that this is what works for me .

 

Anyone else out there got any tips, tricks or survival strategies?

 

What’s LOVE got to do with it?

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon in New York. I’m sitting in a café putting together this week’s class music and writing SweatCITY! Monday… As I’m looking for the cool-down songs and thinking about the blog I’ve come across Tina Turner’s hit, What’s Love got to do with it?- “What’s love… but a second hand emotion? What’s love got to do, got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”

The lyrics of the song got me thinking about what happened to me last night… Jessica and I watched the movie Out of Africa, it’s a ccraazzyy romance about love, loss and strength. The first time I watched the movie was after a dramatic real life break-up some seven years ago. At that time the movie made me feel better about my situation, it gave me peace.

Last night post love story drama-fest I found myself crying hysterically in Jessica’s arms. I guess watching it again after so many years opened up some wounds…  It reminded me of how much pain I once felt, how much darkness I’d gone through, how much I’ve grown, and how that pain and darkness are still looming in the wings.

I’ve been thinking a lot today about why I cried so hard last night, what it all means?  Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to – I don’t know what I think, I don’t know what it means…  You know that awful saying, “What does not kill us makes us stronger?”

That break-up did not kill me… I’m still very much alive, my heart was never physically broken because it’s always kept beating. I’ve done everything in my power to erase the pain in my heart, but no matter how much I do in my career, no matter how much Jessica loves me, no matter how hard I RUN-AWAY from it… It’s still there, it still hurts. AHHHHHH!!!!!  

Does it ever go away? I don’t know…  What does that mean?  I don’t think it means anything other than I got hurt.   

As in Fitness, as in life, as in love… We can’t control or change what’s happened to us in the past.  All we have control over is how we choose to react to it today.  Life is a continuous journey of love, loss, and strength.  Lovers beware:  If you want to play the game of love it’s impossible to avoid getting hurt. Did you hear me, do you agree with me?  Loss and pain are important parts of the journey. I feel like lots of people, ESPECIALLY the media, try to tell us it’s supposed to be easy…. That love shouldn’t hurt and if it starts to hurt then there’s something wrong with the relationship, that we should break-up.

But I don’t believe them… I refuse to believe them.  Being in a relationship involves so many variables, it involves her, it involves me, it involves pain, joy, patience, passion, persistence, faith, tears, laughter… It’s a roller coaster; if it’s real it can be a bright beautiful sunshine or it can be a grey ugly thunder storm.

“Happily every after,” is wonderful in theory.   It’s a lovely package they sell in Hollywood, it’s a quick fix diet, but it’s not the real deal.  What’s real is right now, every second of every day of every week of every month of every year… That is life that’s what makes up a relationship.

So to answer Tina Turner’s question, What’s Love got to do with it?  Love has everything to do with it… Fight for that LOVE in your heart,  if you get hurt find a way to keep your love alive.  The pain will slowly go away or transform into something else but never lose the love because when you lose the love in your heart you lose yourself.  When you lose yourself you become a sad and angry person.  That’s not you, that’s not who you were born to be.

I’ve found for myself that when I lose me, no million dollars, no size 2 jeans, no super model girlfriend can ever get me back.  Yes it’s hard when it feels like your heart is broken into a thousands pieces but once you start finding the love again, once you start putting the pieces back together… You’ll find yourself again and realize that you can love again.  Once you’ve loved and lost you will come to know that you can overcome anything.  You will come to know that loving is living.

Sooo… What’s Love got to do with it?

 

 

 

Model Maker “Lose 80lbs in 3 months”.

As Fashion Week kicks off again here in NYC my attention has been grabbed by the reports of a new ‘Reality’ Show that is currently being cast by MTV.  Called ‘MODEL MAKER’ the producers are seeking aspiring models to lose 30-80lbs on TV. In 3 months.

The casting call states the potential contestants need a “Great attitude, a pretty face and the endurance to sweat off the pounds during a 3 month boot camp style show.”

The winner is the young woman who manages to lose the most weight in the allotted time.  This ‘lucky’ winner will ‘enjoy’ a prize of $100,000, a model portfolio and a personal trainer.

I don’t even know where to begin.  I am without a doubt a cynical product of my profession, it is hard to shock me, I’ve had to become conditioned over the years of my career to accept that if you choose to be a high fashion model then you must accept the rigors of body fascism that exist in the industry.  Or quit.  Some of you know that my personal story contains drug sustained starvation and years of bulimia.  

Even now as a determinedly healthy model I have to be disciplined in what I eat and how much food I consume. I’m used to it and it’s light years better than how I used to live, but it’s still not easy to maintain my little frame. And my body type is naturally slender.  There’s a reason why not many girls can become models.  We have an unusual body type.  I have a weirdly narrow ribcage, narrow shoulders and bony boy hips.  Most women DON’T have my narrow frame. Lacey, as stringently healthy and as disciplined as she is could never be as all over thin as I am: her skeleton is different to mine!!  Believe me when I say that even WITH my unusual body type it’s STILL NOT EASY to be this small.

This proposed show is not ‘The Biggest Loser’ where even though there is an exploitative element at least the focus is on helping morbidly obese individuals become motivated to learn and implement a healthy lifestyle to improve the quality of their lives, their families lives, and in some cases actually save them from an early death.

No, this show will take normal weight, pretty, insecure girls and tell them that the more weight they lose, the more beautiful and ‘successful’ they will become.

Let me provide some quick facts here; I’m sure you’ve heard them.  1-2lbs a week is the recommended amount of weight to lose for sustained healthy weight loss.  In the 12 weeks allotted for the show that would be ‘only’ 24lbs.  Not even enough to get you cast, let alone to win the thing. Even if you were the most motivated individual on the planet and could manage to lose 3lbs each and every week of the show without hitting a temporary plateau, that’s still ‘only’ 36lbs. The show calls 80lbs a desirable possibility!!!!

Now this 1-2lbs a week is not an arbitrary number: health, nutrition and fitness pros don’t just say it because they think it’s funny.  It’s the amount of weight you can lose without your body going into ‘starvation mode’ whereby it recognizes it’s being starved of what it needs and it dramatically SLOWS YOUR METABOLISM.  Which makes it harder and harder to lose the fat it likes to store. Which means you must eat even less. And less.

As an expert Fitness professional Lacey would tell you that there’s not enough exercise in the world that could make losing more weight than approx 30lbs in 3 months healthy.

As someone who has had very personal experience of this I can tell you that this show will be encouraging young women (most of whom will be well within their healthy range of BMI) to starve themselves, to throw up their food, to use diet pills, drugs, ‘fasting’ programs, colon cleanses and anything else they can think of to lose weight they probably don’t even need to lose in the first place.

What breaks my heart is that the carrot (which is about all they’ll be eating) they’re dangling in front of these young women: the implied promise of success as a model, the supposed validation that will come; That “If only”  they were a model, then they’d feel beautiful.  The money, the fame.  It’s not going to be ANYTHING like they’ve dreamed of.

The fashion industry is like every other business. It operates on the rule of supply and demand. The market is absolutely SATURATED with models.  We come from all over the world to work in this industry. In fact, I know of only a small handful of successful models that are American, and I live in NYC.  Even if you are born with an amazing face, even if you are born with an ‘alien’ type narrow frame, even if you’re really young and prepared to be permanently hungry, even if you have an amazing agent who believes in you beyond all else. Even with all those factors already lined up, your chances of hitting it big in the fashion industry and even getting close to the money and fame you may dream of are one in thousands upon thousands.  I’ve never met a model that hasn’t been told how IMPERFECT she is hundreds of times.  You don’t even know you HAVE so many flaws until you start going on castings. Talk about rejection; I’ve literally had thousands. And I’m a successful model with a profitable career and phenomenal agents.

I know that this is a new type of posting for SWEATCity, but I believe it to be so relevant to our lives, to the pressure we may feel under, and to the hopes and desires we have for our bodies, our lives and the lives of the people we love.  If this show makes it to the air I will boycott it with a passion.

I made a conscious choice NOT to use an image of a super skinny model to illustrate this posting.  You know what a starved woman looks like.  She looks desperately unhappy and she is.

I haven’t even touched upon the horrendous societal messages that this show is perpetuating: I don’t have the space.  Maybe you can contribute to that important part of the debate.

Just know this.  Being thin, even if you’re healthily small, will NEVER be the golden ticket to happiness for anyone. If you’re unhappy bigger, and you lose weight but don’t address why you feel that sadness or lack of direction, then losing the weight may initially give you a buzz but we will all always still be  the same person we were; until we deal with WHY we’re unhappy and stop pretending it’s our jean size.

True health and fitness is a FIT LIFE and that is so much more than thin.

As Lauryn Hill once sang: “How you gonna win if you ‘ain’t right within?”

Thanks for reading.